Revenge Season 2: Episode 10

Hey guys, I FINALLY have the time to watch Revenge and I am so excited. I had forgotten how much I love, love, love this show! Also, how difficult it is to recap this show as the episodes are so packed.

Well, let's get started!
Aiden and Emily tussle  on the beach and Emily is the victor, in more ways than one since after defeating Aiden she gets to have her way with him.

Meanwhile in New York, Daniel is walking the streets, briefcase in hand, ready to run his fathers company when the Initiative lady, Helen, zooms up and rolls down the window. He hops into the car and she informs him that his father's company is filled with hidden assets. It's a toss up whether Daniel is more excited to make lots of money or just make his father look worse.

Over at Casa Grayson, Conrad is enjoying his new freedom by reading the newspaper and ignoring his phone, much to the chagrin of Victoria  who swoops in to tell him that their friends, a Judge and Supreme Court candidate and his wife are coming to dinner. Oh and his wife happens to have a charity that helps wrongly accused convicts. She feels this should be very important to him since he was once a wrongly convicted convict and needs to rehabilitate his image. Conrad agrees.

Sadly, the hiatus did not do away with the boring subplot. Honestly, they could just stop writing this and no one would care. Anyway, Amanda is worried about Jack, Jack is excited about their upcoming nuptials and then one of the Ryan brothers (honestly, who cares? I can't really keep them straight anyway) swoops in to be a little bitch and tell Jack to clean the bar. I would tell Jack to do that too! Seriously, all this guy ever does is mope around.

Back at Emily's house, her mysterious revenge box has produced a letter, supposedly written by one James Palmer, a juror who was killed three days after David Clark's trial AND the court clerk for the very same Judge Barnes that will be residing next door with the Graysons. Emily, wisely, deduces that this man must have been part of the scheme against her dad and she sees her opportunity for REVENGE.

Victoria invites Emily over for some girl time where the conversation basically goes " hey, want to convince my son you still love him and maybe encourage him not to be a douche?""Sure!" "More lemonade?" " Chin chin!". Victoria invites Emily for dinner with the judge and his wife so both their evil plans can be set into motion. Man, I love these two!

Oh shit, not this subplot again. Charlotte is trying to talk wedding stuff with Declan but he is more interested in spying on his new enemies, the Ryan brothers. Declan gets Charlotte to "stall" (that is, flirt with) Anders from Battlestar Gallactica so that he can root through the mysterious coffee bean bags in the back. Just as Anders explains to Charlotte that he was once " wrongly"  accused of drug selling, Declan discovers....DRUGS. WHO CARES? Of course, Declan makes a huge mess and gives himself away.

Emily and Aiden have a plan, and this plan is my favourite scene in this episode! Aiden heads to Daniel's office but he is out to lunch (both literally AND metaphorically) and politely says that he will catch him later. But this secretary has obviously not seen Mad Men and totally tells Aiden where Daniel is having lunch. He, Aiden that is, and Emily head over there so they can stage their breakup in plain view of Daniel. They were both so dramatic and hilarious in this scene! Emily storms off leaving a 'heartbroken' Aiden and a curious Daniel.

Meanwhile Daniel calls Nolan, (looking as dapper as ever) into to his office to search for the rogue files and to boast that Aiden and Emily are no more. Nolan is more pleased about this then someone in a relationship should be and he heads directly over to Emily's to find out if it's true. Aiden sidles in to kiss Emily and flaunt their relationship status.

Meanwhile, at the subplot, blah blah, Jack is going to have the cops raid the place, booring!

At dinner,  Emily is barely in the house when Daniel foists the information that he and Ashley broke up on her. Emily is pleased her plan is working so well. At dinner, Emily using her masterful skill of subtlety, basically pumps the Barnes for information about Palmer.  Mrs. Barnes looks extremely worried before announcing that she is unwell and scurrying off, followed shortly by Mr. Barnes.
The next day Amanda shows up and finds Emily looking at Mrs. Barnes medical files. What? Where did she get those? Anyway. Mrs. Barnes has a lot of broken bones and this is TVland so that means only one thing... spousal abuse! Ding, ding, ding! She also discovers that Palmer and Patricia Barnes knew each other and deduces that it was indeed Patricia who wrote the letter.

In other news Aiden gets in touch with Helen (this woman must be busy, y'all!) via a video discovered by Nolan and also his convenient knowledge of Latin. Hmmm. Anyway, Helen tells Aiden that his sister his still alive and is going to be used as leverage against him by the initiative. Aiden swears he won't tell anyone of their meeting, to save his sister's life. Does this mean Aiden is compromised? We shall see!

Meanwhile, Marco is trying to make nice with Nolan but Nolan isn't having any of it. He thinks that if Marco thought that he would truly aid a terrorist and keep money from a young girl then, he, Marco is crazy! Marco then produces a flash drive with some uber code on it! He thinks that Nolan should use it against Grayson Global but Nolan is wary.

At the subplot, the police raid the Stowaway but, predictably, find nothing. Later, while Charlotte and Declan are trying to get it on, they raid "The Amanda" and of course find a shitload of drugs and for that extra oomph, a gun. They arrest Declan but Jack says it was him so they haul is ass off to jail! I hope that means we will see less of him in the future...although I doubt it. He calls Amanda to tell her what happened, while baby Carl wails in the background.

Later at the gala for the wrongly convicted convicts or whatever the organization is called, Judge Arsehole Barnes informs Conrad that he will have to introduce himself as Patricia is out for the count with a migraine. Conrad is fast becoming my favourite character. Anyway, Emily knows what's really going on and heads to Patrica's room to give a rousing speech about how she knows that it was Patricia who wrote that letter and how it inspired young Amanda who was in several abusive foster homes. I don't know if Emily is just being manipulative or if that letter really did encourage her and if so...why haven't we heard of it before? In any case we have another dig at the EVIL foster care system...thanks Hollywood! When Patricia stands up to give her speech it is not the speech she had planned  She confesses that she wrote the letter and that the trial against David Clark was, basically, a bunch of crap. Judge Barnes tries to stop her but she plows  on,  for her peice de resistance she takes off her outwear to reveal that she is covered in bruises to the stunned audience. Wow, this show is over the top but this scene was truly amazing.

While Aiden and Emily are at home, plotting further REVENGE, or whatever they do, Daniel shows up saying he wants to change things and that he wants Emily to head up the charitable foundation at Grayson Global. Emily is reluctant but then agrees and her and Daniel kiss. Ruh-roh! I am on Team Aiden but I also love a good love triangle. Who's team are you on? Team Brit or Team America (although Daniel is really British as well so....I guess team Britain it is!)? And what will happen in the next episode? I, for one, can't wait... except to find out about what happen with Jack/Amanda/Declan...I really don't care about them!

Covert Affairs: Season 3, Episode 16

Previously on Covert Affairs: Eyal is kidnapped, Megan is dead, Annie is mad and Auggie is  in love.


And now: Well, I seriously misjudged what kind of show this was, since, as it turns out, Eyal was never in real danger. It looks like he maybe got stabbed with pen? Anyway, Kahleed calls Annie and tells her that in exchange for Eyal's life he wants information on who the spies are in his dad's company and Annie is totally ready to give it to him. Okay, I definitely on team Eyal but Annie is the worst, the WORST main character ever. She would get twenty people killed to save one, she truly is the life ruiner. Anyway, first of all she needs to get the information. A friendly computer hacker tells her she has to get into the American embassy or consulate (are those the same things? I don't know) and hack some files. Annie isn't sure how to do this (again, is it really difficult to get into a consulate? Don't you just have to be a citizen of said country?) but the friendly hacker has a plan, she gets some goons to beat Annie up. She heads to the consulate and even the guy at the desk looks skeptical about her 'scenario'.

Over at Kahleed's House of Torture and Kidnapping, Kahleed tells Eyal that they are practically the same since they're both from the Middle East, I guess. Man, the sexiness level in this room is through the roof, Kahleed is one fine looking bad guy. However, this logic is boggling my mind a little bit. Eyal's mind is not boggled, however, he says that they are EXACTLY the same, since I guess they've both killed people or something. Kahleed looks confused.

Meanwhile, Auggie has fled Iraq and is in  Amsterdam where he reunites with Annie. He suggests that ratting on all their assets might not be the BEST idea ever. He has another idea.  I was only half paying attention at this point so I'm not sure what is plan is. Basically he heads to a head shop and gets some blanks, I think. The head shop owner says that this is a very strange request, but it doesn't seem that strange to me.  Annie calls Kahleed and tells him to meet her somewhere, as she as the file. It is a fake out though! The file is empty. Auggie crashes into Kahleed pretending to be a blind tourist and then Annie shows up and says that the file contains exactly how much Eyal is worth to her. That is, nothing. Man, that's gotta sting. Then she shoots him with the blanks. The three of them, Auggie, Annie and Eyal are reunited on a boat and they flee the scene. The whole time Auggie keeps trying to have " the talk"  with Annie, about how he's in love with her. Annie keeps giving him the look like " awwkwaaard".

After learning that Kahleed will be deported and then ignored by the CIA, Annie uses her skills of jumping to conclusions to decide that the CIA wants her to personally go after Kahleed. Dear CIA, please tell me there is no one actually like Annie in your agency, or heaven help us all. She goes after him but instead of killing him she has a better plan! Boom, this was actually smart on her part, something I can't say often. She shows him a file showing that his father actually had Megan killed and that's he's not really important and blah blah blah. He leaves with a wounded ego and Annie leaves with a boosted ego.

Eyal and Annie say goodbye, and they'll meet again and etc. Booooring. I'm sure some stuff also happened with the Henry Wilcox (heehee) and Arthur Campbell plotline buuuuuuuuuuut I don't care.

Back Stateside, Annie meets with Henry and he gives her a file with some super secret information and tells her he'd like her on his team. Annie says she's in and then heads home where she is about to peruse the file when Auggie shows up. Auggie decides that he's had it with trying to talk to Annie and goes straight for the boob grab. Uff, I know you're blind Auggie but that was FORWARD. They make out and I am confused. These two have zero sexual chemistry, this show needs to stop trying to make this happen.

Well overall a tacky, wonderful, badly acted and hilariously costumed season, although this finale was a bit weak...no cliffhanger or anything right?

Next up...I get caught up with Revenge. Can't wait! Also I share the ten things I learned from watching one season of The Bachelor!

Covert Affairs: Season 3, Episode 15

Previously on Covert Affairs: In case anyone has forgotten, Auggie was in IRAQ! Annie, meanwhile, is running for her life...again.


And now: Annie goes to Luxembourg, Auggie goes to Iraq. Again. Oh and tattoo man gets a name!Auggie and Annie are meeting for a nightcap and after blabbing about herself forever, Annie finally shuts up and Auggie tells her that he is going on some project thing where he will be a 'battle buddy" (lol-right?) and he will help some other guy with his problems, in Iraq. I sense this isn't going to go well but Auggie is optimistic. The next day Annie learns from tattoo man, who we learn is called Barber, that Megan's body was found strangled in Luxembourg. Annie asks Barber if he can make her a fake ID so she can go pretend to be Megan's sister and collect Megan's' personal belongings, namely a flash drive. Barber says he went to prep school. Well, thanks for that insight into your past Barber, but what does it have to do with anything? Is there a course on fake ID's? Anyway, Annie get's her fake passport and jets off to Luxembourg. She goes to the morgue and everything seems to be going well except...fake out! Terrorist Man (Kahleed)'s men start chasing her around with tranquilizer darts. Annie does what anyone who travels in Louboutins would do and knocks this guy over the head with a stiletto  Thanks to Covert Affairs for putting this scene in here, as obviously they know that this is the kind of shit I want to see. The real fake out in this scene is that Annie clocks this guy with what looks like a pump but later she is wearing booties. Were they booties all along? Did she find booties on the way? Why didn't she at least try to look a little bit different? So many questions. She calls for an extraction but the useless twit that's taken over Auggie's desk says it will take half and hour and also kindly tells Annie to shut up. Annie calls Eyal next. Eyal is overjoyed, although we can only wonder why. He tells Annie to escape to Zurich where he will meet her. Annie is all snarky about it but honestly, I'm with the girl at the desk, This guy is saving your ass AGAIN, no need to be an ungrateful bitch about it.

Meanwhile, in Iraq, Auggie is paired with some grumpy guy who is about to get a divorce and has TSD, and I don't want to belittle anyone with actual TSD but basically this whole plot was just to say RAH RAH America right? I mean, there are a lot of American flags in these scenes. Basically they discuss how shitty life is, how crappy it was of the army to give them purple hearts and eventually overcome their problems and live happily ever after. This plot was really cheesy in a baaaad way, so I'm not going to spend any more time on it.

In Zurich, Eyal informs Annie that Kahleed and his British dad are hiding out in Zurich and since Kahleed's bank accounts have been frozen he is getting money from his dad. Eyal and Annie hatch a plan which involves Eyal roughing up some diamond seller (I wish he would rough me up!) and tracking the courier of Kahleed's dinero. Eyal tells Annie that he is no longer in Mossad. They go to some posh place where Eyal has dinner with Kahleed's dad and Annie looks pretty and reads the newspaper. Eyal texts her that the courier is the waiter but then Annie sots Megan. She is alive! Although, I suspect, not for long. Annie tells her that Kahleed is going to kill her but  Megan just flashes a blingy engagement ring and says that they are going to  get married. I don't think so lady. Annie hugs her and tells her it's her choice but she is gonna get killed! The hug was a fake out and she actually just placed a tracker on Megan. Annie is reunited with Eyal but then they hear gunshots and, yes, Megan is dead for reals now. They head back to the safehouse to regroup, where Eyal looks delish and tells Annie that he was wrong and she should use her empathy and not be the cold hearted biznatch he advised her to be last week. Geez, Eyal, make up your mind, oh and that blue shirt is really working for you. Just then the baddies show up and Eyal tells Annie to get out of there. His plan is to distract the baddies so he gives himself up and lets Annie escape. Seriously, if Eyal dies, I will not be watching the next season!!

In the boring subplot, Arthur goes to visit Wilcox (heehee) in jail where he is informed that all will be forgiven for the blowing up of stuff incident. Why? Arthur doesn't know and I think this is a stupid arse subplot  That is all I can say on the matter. I wouldn't even have written about it but I sense it will be important next episode or season.

Annie flees to Amsterdam and is walking around looking lost when she finds a cell phone under a bench that promptly starts ringing. She answers it and....that is all for this episode folks. Really, though, Eyal better be alive at the end of the next episode.

Covert Affairs: Season 3 Episode 14

Previously on Covert Affairs: Annie and Joan are over! Arthur blew some shit up! Terrorists are bad and that ho Parker made a guest appearance.


And Now: Annie and Eyal break up! Eyal and Mossad break up! Megan and Terrorist Man are going strong. At CIA headquarters everyone is 'buckeling down'  after the doctored photo incident. Arthur is potentially in the big doo doo for blowing stuff up to which I say:  NO SHIT. I mean, if the immediate response to any information is to get out the explosives, you probably shouldn't be running the CIA. Just saying. Some guy with tattoos explains how the pictures where doctored, basically, Mossad blah blah, pixels, satellites, spies. Joan doesn't have an effing clue what he is talking about and neither do I! I, however, am not running an international spy organization. Anyway.

Megan, meanwhile, is in protective custody in a hotel. She is pissed that she is being kept in a boring  hotel with no job, friends or boyfriend. To Megan I say, I have watched a lot of TV and escaping protective custody is easy as shit. Annie pays her a visit and considering that it was Annie that got her into this mess, Megan is suprisingly nice.

Back at the CIA they learn that terrorist-man (can't be bothered to learn his name) is going to want revenge...um, isn't that why she was in protective custody in the first place? Anyway. Annie flees the scene and goes back to the hotel to discover that, as predicted, Megan is gone. She decides to track her down on her own. Honeslty, I don't know how this girl even has a job left. She takes off where she encounters Eyal. Even though she is under direct orders TO NOT TALK TO EYAL, they join up and head to a farm or something out in the middle of nowhere. In a garage they discover an abandoned car with a picture of Megan and two bottles of water that have both been used. Eyal uses his astute observational skills and points out that something is not right here. Yes, Eyal they are many things wrong with this scene. However there is one very right thing which is Eyal wearing a tight leather jacket.  Rawr. To the suprise of absolutely no one the car blows up and they head off to find the brother of the guy who is suspected of having Megan. Long story short, they find the brother, get some information from him, Eyal smacks him around a bit. They head to an airfield, find the baddie and kill him.

Now, time for the interesting part. Some backstory from Eyal informs us that once upon a time he did find someone who actually wanted to sleep with him, she was a beautiful woman with poor fashion choices, who he seduced then got to work for him by seducing the very same terrorist who they are now after. She was killed. Eyal was sad. Is this perhaps the reason for the doctored photos?? Mossad boss lady tells Joan that, yes, this was the case.
Annie phones Joan and confesses that she is with Eyal. Joan is so annoyed, as I would be. Annie is soo self righteous and annoying!

Annie confronts Eyal and he says yes, he did doctor those photos and he was acting alone and maybe if she wasn't so fricking gullible she wouldn't get played all the time...hmmm? Annie says that in that case this is "adios" and the two say goodbye. Eyal meets with the boss lady where they discuss how he lied about this which, obviously he was lying. Oh Covert Affairs, stop being so obvious. Then he says goodbye to Mossad and effs off out of there. Mossad lady is sad.

Meanwhile in the far off lands, Megan is reunited with her bf, even though she knows he is a terrorist now she is excited to see him. She tells him Annie's name, social insurance number, phone number, email address, LinkedIn profile, twitter and facebook so he can track her down and kill her. Terrorist man gives her the creepiest smile ever and I thought for sure she was going to be risen-ed too but no.

The episode ends with Arthur being informed that Jai Wilcox is going to be released from jail....who gives a fuck? This plotline was super boring. Way to end the episode on this irrelevant note instead of the creepy smile!

Covert Affairs: Season 3, Episode 13

 Previously on Covert Affairs: Joan is in AA, Annie said no to money, Eyal is my dream husband, Auggie perfected his sad puppy dog eyes and terrorists blah, blah terrorists.

And now: Truth facts! Everyone learns the truth about everything in this episode! We open with Annie searching for some espresso in Eyal's house. Just as she finds it, a parcel gets sent under her door. It's more intel from Eyal regarding some terrorist guy and his American girlfriend. Annie knows there's only one thing to do with such information so she sends a memo to everyone at the CIA. Just kidding, she tells Joan and Arthur. In a true case of "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" or whatever that expression is, Joan says they should sit on this intel since it isn't solid and Arthur thinks they should blow some shit up! Annie thinks that she can turn the American girlfriend, so she heads out to meet her. Annie is all straightforward about it and tells the American girlfriend that her boyfriend is a terrorist. The girlfriend is all "don't judge me, you're young and think you can have it all, but you can't". At this point I kind of like the girlfriend, she is speaking truth facts here for sure, but on the other hand she is dating a terrorist. Also Annie doesn't have much of a leg to stand on since she was also dating a baddie, right? Anyway she has the girlfriend call the terrorist so they can establish a trace but this girlfriend seriously lacks the ability to be subtle and spooks the shit out of her boyfriend. Although I guess terrorists must be easy to spook.

Meanwhile at Casa Auggie, my most hated character is back. Yes, I am speaking of Parker  Man, I thought we were done with this bitch but I guess she just reappeared to seal the deal on how much I hate her. She shows up and Auggie is visibly shaken at the sight of her, or the "sight of her" as it were, but she is tactless and just asks for him to help her parents get the money they should be getting from the government. Auggie is not a jerk so he agrees to help and she gives him a lingering hug. Later in the episode, after Auggie has helped her, he asks her why she came to see him and she says that she wanted to see him. He says that that's not a very cool thing to say to an ex-boyfriend but she one-ups him and says "ex-FIANCE". Bitch please. Auggie kindly tells her to "gtfo", as it were and I am solidly on team Auggie. Dear writers of Covert Affairs, please do not bring this insufferable character back. Thank you.

The men at the CIA have had time to think about the information that Annie brought them and have and have made plans for the blowing up of the bad guys. They are looking at the map thingie in a dark basement room, ie: basically the set of every sci fi, or spy show in the last 40 years. Anyway, Joan is the unlikely voice of reason and says that maybe immediately attacking isn't the BEST course of action, and Annie pipes up that they could still get info from the girlfriend but there is just too much testosterone in the room so that shit gets bombed. However, terrorist man speeds away from the scene of the crime and Annie says "he's smart, he head for the populated areas". Well, no shit, Annie. Even I know that that would be the best course of action. Annie also, immediately knows that the girlfriend will be in danger so she heads to a theater to intercept her. Megan, the American girlfriend, is annoyed and tells Annie that she, Annie that is, enjoys ruining other people's lives and I kind of have to agree with her. She has so far ruined SEVERAL lives on this show to advance her own career. There is a high speed chase with some bad guy that Annie eventually chucks off a roof.

Back at Langley it's girl fight time! Considering I only watch this show to laugh at it and to admire the costume choices, this scene really annoyed me. I hate how mainstream television thinks it's impossible for women to work together and not be catty bitches. Anyway, where was I? Ah yes, Joan is questioning Annie about whether she should be so trusting with Eyal (answer: no) and Annie gets mad and says that at least Eyal has been there for her, ie: he rescued her from jail unlike Joan. Annie needs to shut the fuck up. If I recall correctly, Annie was told to stay out of trouble because the CIA couldn't rescue her if she went on this mission. Instead of civilly telling her this though, the CIA Headquarters become Brokeback Mountain headquarters except that Joan totally can quit Annie. She's had it with this biznatch and tells her that "she is done with her". I lol-ed a lot in this scene because it was so Jr. High!

Meanwhile in the boring subplot, Arthur has totally caught on to the fact that something is up with Joan, he tells her that he will be checking into a hotel (rich people problems) and she tells him that it isn't what he thinks. I guess she tells him the truth but they are interrupted by Annie who has noticed that one of the photos she used as evidence was doctored. Way to notice that at the end of the episode, Annie! Basically the CIA is going to be in the merde, as Gordon Ramsay would say. Joan tells Annie that Eyal played her and while I don't think that's the case, I do think Annie should be more careful about who she trusts. Also I did not really enjoy her pant suit in this episode....where are her ridiculous mini skirts? That's the shit I really want to see.

Covert Affairs: Season 3, Episode 12

Hey guys, I was really sick for the majority of the last two months but since I am feeling better get ready for  more English student ramblings!
Previously on Covert Affairs: Well, I'm too lazy to write that out so here's my last recap!


And now: Annie is back in America after her unfortunate stint in Russia and she has been taken to some place called "Blue Bonnet Farm".  Some creepy guy tells her that she will be staying for a while and that they have brought 'some of her stuff' and proceed to give her a tiny grey bag. What the hell, CIA? Annie has at least 100 pair of wedges and I'm sure that they did not all fit into that tiny bag. Although, maybe nearly being tortured and killed in Russia has rendered fashion less important to Annie since she is wearing some 90's tragedy of a sweater. The creepy guy takes her into...a barn?What, they couldn't afford a chalet or something? Anyway, he accuses her of falling in love with Simon and some other boring stuff and gives her some juice. She is all "whatever, bitch, I nearly died in Russia, your silly questions do not bother me!" Just then a Annie is whisked away, back to CIA headquarters where she is reunited with Auggie and his perpetual longing stare and vests. Joan appears to say that they are on 'orange alert' and some weird orange lights start flashing. For some reason this really made me laugh, do they have lights for every colour of alert? I hope so. Apparently orange alert means that they shut down their computers so pesky foreigners can't snoop because just then Eyal and another Mossad agent roll in.  They have some intel about a Swedish operative who has a watch filled with some kind of information that they want. Basically there is some boring stuff about how Mossad and CIA are working together but the older Mossad lady thinks that the CIA will keep the information for themselves, which, the CIA is totally planning to do. Also Annie is going to get a medal. Annie is all "oh, the one with a cash reward?" but then is totally pissed when Arthur says yes. Girl, I know your boyfriend got shot and all but don't say no to money!
Anyway, Annie and Eyal eventually head over to the missing Swedish lady's hotel where they find her hiding in a closet. She tells them that the some weird guy was asking her a lot of questions about the airline she worked for and she wants out. Eyal basically says "no dice". Sigh, Eyal is just so handsome but that was pretty mean.   Before the matter can be resolved the Swedish asset and her tragic sweater drop dead.
Back at CIA headquarters, Auggie informs Annie that the bad guys are all caught up on Breaking Bad because they used the trusty risen poison on the Swedish informant. He also tells her that he has been doing some research and it looks like our baddie has been funding a terrorist  organization or gun runner or something. He has also discovered that the asset has buried something out in the forest somewhere and Annie takes off there at mach seed with a shovel and a metal detector. Just as she begins her search, Eyal shows up and they bicker a bit about sharing information and blah blah blah.  Eventually they decide to get digging, assuming that they will find the watch. I should say that Eyal digs while Annie stands there looking forlorn. Eyal sees the massive steam trunk key dangling from Annie's neck and asks her about it but she just hides it. They do not find the watch but rather a key to a safe deposit box. Back at the CIA offices Annie has a brilliant plan to go into the safe deposit herself since both she and the Swedish woman are blonde. This seems like a legit plan to me but, Eyal, Joan and Eyal's boss woman do not think so. They list all the things that could go wrong but eventually they agree to let her do it because basically she is Annie and she does whatever she wants anyway. Eyal and his boss lady discuss Eyal's sex life in Hebrew. In short Eyal is not sleeping with Annie but his boss lady thinks he should as it would speed things along. Eyal looks grumpy because we all know his unrequited feelings for Annie. Well, I know at least because those are the same feelings I have for him! Before going to the bank though she heads home, however being that her boyfriend and her both got shot there, she decides it would be more prudent to check into the hotel.A wise choice Annie.
At the bank, the next day, she gets into the safe deposit box and collects the watch but soon is stopped by the baddie. She "hands over the watch" and he flees. After some chasing by Eyal and Annie, we learn that Annie totally fooled that guy (not us though!) and she tells Eyal that she will share the intel on the watch with him. Eyal then gives Annie the key to his apartment in DC and tells her she can stay there and that he made the bed and then he cooks her dinner! While they are eating dinner, Auggie is at Annie's old house banging on the door. Aw, poor Auggie. He really didn't have much of a role in this episode   Eyal heads out saying he has a flight to catch and goes directly to the boss lady with the information that Annie gave him. However, he looks fairly mad about it and refuses to say where Annie is staying. Annie broods about Simon.
In a side plot of extreme randomness, Arthur totally thinks Joan is cheating on him because she is acting all weird and holding hands with some guy but it turns out she is just in AA! What?  I mean, I've never even seen Joan have a glass of wine and suddenly she is an alcoholic? Anyway, that's all for this episode folks, let's hope we see some more of Eyal because he is so dreamy, also was there something strange about Annie's eyebrows in this episode or was it just me?

Revenge Season 2 Episode 9 Recap

Guys this the last Revenge episode until January so of course it was tense, brought up old love interests and had a musical montage. Unfortunately the subplot because actually more of an actual plot, but that was the only downside to this episode.

Victoria, Conrad and pretty much the rest of the cast are skeet shooting because of course they are, and also it's dramatic. Victoria is concerned about Daniel but Conrad is confident that Nolan's company will fight the takeover and give him time to clear his name.  Aarrently the reason for this skeet shooting is for Conrad to encourage a wealthy Latino (thanks to his wife) called Grobet  to vote for him. Daniel has a plan regarding Grobet too, that is to trot out Ashley, "an exotic beauty". Ummm, Ashley is beautiful and has an accent and sort of darkish skin but I'm not sure I'd go straight to 'exotic', but anyway. Nolan mutters to Emily and Aiden that he's not totally happy with this situation but he has a plan of his own but he isn't going to tell them what is and how do they like that 'hmmm?'. Victoria and Conrad discuss how  Daniel has played his trump card by bringing Ashley and Daniel calls for a 'skeet' (is that what they are called? Who knows, I've never shot anything in my life!) but Emily takes the shot and then tries to convince Grobet to vote for Daniel. The initiative show up and threaten Daniel from a black car with the windows rolled down. After being menacing for several minutes, Victoria screams at them over the phone but the Initiative lady rolls up the window and speeds off.

Over at the subplot it's christening time and Jack, wisely (not), invites the Ryan brothers to the event. Anders from Battlestar Gallactica and Kenny of the stupid name give each other meaningful glances. Somehow this goes unnoticed by Jack. He really is so dim.

Meanwhile at Grayson Global, Nolan and Padma show up to talk to Daniel who is sans Aiden. Nolan isn't too happy with this state of affairs but Daniel gets out his ace card, Marco. Nolan keeps his cool but you can tell he is inwardly (metaphorically speaking) shitting himself. Gabriel Mann really had a lovely performance here didn't he? They talk business and basically Nolan is black mailed into giving Daniel a controlling interest in the company as to avoid explaining the millions of missing dollars. I'm not sure I believe that Daniel has this in him, but it was certainly well played on his part.

Ashley tells Daniel that she needs to cut Aiden out and Daniel believes her, I guess because she is an exotic beauty and all. Aiden witnesses this via camera and laments that they have a problem. Emily laughs evilly (not really) and produces a video of Ashley and Conrad having sex. I must say Ashley seems very...excited in this video. Faster than you can say 'sex scandal' the video is sent to Victoria. Victoria looks pretty shocked, although, doesn't she know she's on a soap opera?!

At the christening, a remarkably well done scene and a good excuse for more white outfits, Emily looks on wistfully as she vows to protect the baby.  Then, thanks to some convenient timing, Matt Duncan shows up. He was the one we saw last episode shooting Mr. Ryan the elder. He advises Jack to stay away from the Ryan brothers because they are ' no good'. Duh, I mean, we all  witnessed that exchange of glances in the bar. Jack, miraculously, believes Duncan.

Meanwhile at Casa Grayson Victoria shows the video to Conrad and the two discuss their various extramarital affairs before agreeing that they have to be united if they want to protect Daniel from the evil Iniative. Victoria shows the video to Ashley who apologizes profusely and vows to make it right. Uh-oh, Victoria has an idea about how to make it right. Ashley will sleep with Grobet and convince him to vote for Conrad and in exchange, I guess, Victoria won't show the video to Daniel.

Back at the christening Charlotte gives a speech ( yawn! Still, I miss Charlotte, where has she been? )and Amanda asks Emily when enough will be enough. Nolan is having a nice drinkie when Jack, finally using his brain, asks Nolan to look into the Evil Ryan Brothers. Then Marco appears and comments on how the millions of dollars that were meant to have gone to Amanda seem to have vanished. He doesn't know the real story and he threatens to release the information unless he is given his job back.

Meanwhile, Aiden and Emily are upset by Ashley's attempt to erm ' sway Grobet's vote'  so Aiden heads over to the hotel and calls a meeting with Daniel. After acting hurt for a bit he directs Daniel to Grobet's rooms. Ashley appears in a bathrobe and Daniel pulls out his phone to instagram this wonderful moment. He threatens to blackmail Grobet unless he gets his vote. Ashley seems devastated. Yikes, Emily is a relationship ruiner. The time for the voting arrives and Conrad and Victoria confess that they set Ashley up and beg him not to take over as it will put him in danger. I'm sure they're regretting not letting him be a poet now! Daniel takes over the company and ousts Aiden. Padma feels bad about the company being taken over but Nolan admits he has a plan. Then Marco shows up. It's a love triangle and I love it!

Duncan shows up at "The Amanda"  where Declan has been living? What? This plot is so boring and now, also, stupid. He, Duncan, acts suspicious for a while then walks off where he is cornered by the evil Ryan brothers. Uh-oh, we know where this was going. Still, Duncan knows how dangerous they are and kind of walked right into this. Nolan calls Jack to tell him that the Ryan bros are up to no good and then Charlotte comes in screaming that someone has been beaten up. It's Duncan of course who reveals that he killed Mr. Ryan Sr. and hid the gun on the "Amanda"
Later  the Ryan's threaten Jack and reveal that they took  Jack's dad's diary or dayplanner or contact list or something. They've crossed out Duncans name. Yikes, does everyone have a revenge diary on this show? I don't know, I kind of thought the Ryan's had a better plan than this. They totally just gave themselves away which doesn't seem that smart. Although, what am I saying? Everything about this subplot is stupid.

Daniel is looking through pictures of him and Ashley and him and Emily. He picks up his clock and it's a camera! The Iniative are spying on him!

Victoria calls Emily and says that she will need help protecting Daniel. Is this going to turn into a love triangle too? I hope so!

I did love this episode, and I especially loved the song that was playing at the end during the montage. Here's  a link, the song is called "Tunnels" by The Hundreds in the Hands and I also recommend "Recognize" and "Keep it Low" by the same band.

Tunnels

Revenge-Season 2 Episode 8

Last Time on Revenge: Conrad and Victoria were in love, Kara was crazy and Aiden and Emily got it on!

And now: It's 2006 and while Emily's revenge plan is in it's early stages, other  revenge plans are well under way, oh, and the subplot is STILL boring...or was boring back then too. I don't know. 

Emily walks into a club, dressed in a slinky black dress and red lipstick,where she encounters...Aiden. Aiden is wearing a Movember and a Russian accent, which as Emily informs him, doesn't suit him. He informs her that prostitution doesn't suit her. She gives him her patented, 'bitch please' look and asks for some Russian baddie called Sergei or Dimitri, I don't really know. Meanwhile in the VIP area, another familiar face appears. It's Ashley in an ill fitted lamé dress and dark lipstick. Ashley was a hooker?! She's told to wipe her make up off and while she's crying in the bathroom,Emily knocks on the door. Ashley exposits that she's just an art school girl who can't pay the rent. Emily hands over a wad of cash and a phone number and tells Ashley to get out of there now.

Later, Emily meets with Takeda who asks her about her revenge plans and asks her if she is ready for this mission. That's an affirmative, Takeda. Emily is an ice-queen and ready to get her some revenge.

Meanwhile at Casa Grayson, Daniel is home from Harvard and goes to have a heart to heart with his dad. Daniel informs his dad that he wants to be a poet instead of taking something more appropriate for the future heir of Grayson Global. Daniel really is terribly naive. Conrad says that he will gladly read Daniel's poetry but I think we all know how this is going to end. Except Daniel of course, that guy is as perceptive as a brick wall. He's also brought his grandmother, Marion, over and Victoria looks, well, less than pleased, let's say. Daniel wants them all to have a reunion and Marion informs Victoria that her husband, Maxwell, died a year ago. In a shocking (or not) twist, Marion only married Maxwell for the money. However, she informs Victoria, things are different with her new beau, Ben. It's love this time, and Victoria better not mess it up.  A creepy flashback depicts a young Victoria, being hit on by one of Marion's conquests. I'm guessing from this flashback that Marion's request of "not messing things up", is going to go unheeded. It turns out Ben and Marion met on a cruise. Marion claims that this was all an amazing coincidence but since this is Revenge we all know, this coincidence was, well, not a coincidence.

Back at the seedy Russian club (by the way, is anyone else confused as to where this club is supposed to be?) Emily shows up dressed all metaphorically in white. She becomes Ashley's replacement  in order to get close to Dmitri. Aiden, in desperate need of rescuing someone, and also getting revenge for Dmitri kidnapping his (Aiden's) sister, pulls a gun and fires. Emily chucks Aiden out of the way, saving the Russian baddies and getting Aiden hauled off into a secret torture chamber/ storage room. Takeda, via earpiece, tells Emily not to get distracted from her mission but Emily is now set on rescuing Aiden. Well, I would be too. Having a hot piece like that indebted to you can never be a bad thing!

At Nolcorp, Nolan announces the company is going public, then gifts everyone champagne and sends them home for the holidays. A cute Latino, called Marco, gives Nolan a gift and they kiss. Yes! I like Nolan so much more when he's gay. I guess we should talk about the boring subplot a bit. Back in 2006, Jack and Declan's dad was still running the world's most boring bar, and the bar was still in financial difficulties. He sends Jack and Declan away for thanksgiving, because obviously something is up. Jack, proving he is at least a little bit brighter than Daniel knows this and shows up at the bar anyway, just in time for a Molotov cocktail to come sailing through the window. Someone with the not-at-all suspicious last name of Ryan shows up and Declan tells him that they'll pay whatever it is they owe. 

Emily busts in to the storage room to break out Aiden but not before she does some interrogation of her own. Aiden says that his father was a baggage handler on the flight which Emily's father was accused of bombing. "That's how they got the bomb on", Emily says and Aiden explains that his father was also used by The Initiative. Emily's rescue attempt goes awry and the Russian baddies walk in, making snide remarks, not knowing they are all about to have their asses handed to them. As they leave the storage room, Takeda appears and all together they take down the Russian baddies. Dmitri takes off, followed closely by Aiden and Emily. Emily tells Aiden not to shoot but Dmitri taunts Aiden about his sister being forced into prostitution. Aiden, as any sane man would do, shoots Dmitri dead. 

More shit happens at The Stowaway/Subplot Bar. 

At Nolcorp, Marco discovers a lot of money missing from an off shore account that he set up for Nolan. Nolan doesn't want to tell him the truth but he finally does. That money went to Amanda/Emily, since her father was one of the original investors in the company. Marco gets mad that Nolan is helping a terrorist, despite Nolan's pleas that David Clark was innocent.  Nolan one ups him, though   by firing his ass (and I guess, breaking up with him, simultaneously).

At the Grayson family thanksgiving, Daniel is still proud of his poetry, which Conrad promises to send to the garbage publishers he knows. Victoria mentions their last family thanksgiving and Marion begs her not to tell. There is someone who wants to hear it though...Ben. Victoria tells the story and boy, is it a story. Marion had some, wealthy, I assume, but also married man in her sights (the one last seen hitting on 15 year old Victoria). When he refuses to stay with her ( I guess 'cause she's NUTS), Marion shoots him, then gets Victoria to shoot him again. Victoria won't go to jail, Marion explains, saying they will claim it was self defense. Victoria doesn't go to jail but she did get to send 6 months in inpatient evaluation. When she got out, Marion had married Maxwell, who also turned out to be a child molester. After witnessing Maxwell sneaking into Victoria's room,  Marion threw Victoria out. After hearing this tale, Ben storms out and Victoria's revenge plan is complete. More or less. Later Conrad burns Daniel's poetry ( I hope he made a back up) and tells Victoria that Ben has been paid. It turns out he was hired and this was all of Victoria's plan. You have to respect that. Before all the poetry can be burned Conrad reads some and it is alarmingly fitting for everyone's situation on the show. I think the poetry was quite good which makes it a shame that Conrad didn't even consider this option for his son.

Look guys, some other stuff happened at the Stowaway but I just don't care. Carl, Jack and Declan's father, was into some bad shit. The Ryan's have been blackmailing/doing shady business with the Porters for at least 6 years and stupidity is apparently a Porter family trait.  That's all I will say. 

Back in 2012, Aiden and Emily are in bed and it's clear they have genuine feelings for each other. Emily tells Aiden he better not leave her again and I'm a bit lost. I don't know if Emily is being serious or playing her part. I think she's serious but I also think that spells trouble for her..REVENGE. Daniel calls up Marco, who apparently is still harbouring a grudge towards Nolan, and asks him to help him take down Nolcorp, to which Marco agrees.

What do you guys think? I loved this episode and all the back story it provided  especially about Aiden and Emily and Victoria and Conrad. I really can't wait to see what episode 9 will bring. 

Revenge Season 2-Episode 7

Last time on Revenge: Kara is about to have a mental breakdown, the bride wore grey and Amanda wants to "handle" Mason...with a crowbar!

And now: Things are looking grim for, well, just about everyone and as Emily's voice over informs us that everyone  must do penance for the things they've done we get a shot of Victoria sleeping and Conrad cutting himself shaving. It makes me wonder though, is Emily not going to have to pay for the things she's done? Emily is setting herself up as a god and we all know how that ends in TV land. Mason drops by Emily's house to tell her that he's figured out the connection between her and Amanda...except he thinks they were lovers. I think Emily was fairly shocked that THAT was the only conclusion he could come to. Still, I think her smirk says that maybe they actually were lovers? Anyway. 

Last week Daniel went all  Star Wars on Conrad's ass, by declaring that they needed a vote of no confidence to get rid of him. As I said, I don't really get the business-y end of this show but suffice to say that they need to position (ooer) Daniel at the head of Grayson Global while Conrad is still in le olde (metahorical)jail cell. Kara, who has been lurking around Casa Grayson announces, subtly as ever, that she will be leaving and needs Victoria's credit card. Victoria hands it over, I guess when you're that rich you can do that!? 

Amanda is pining away about her dream wedding but this just all seems a bit ridiculous to me. Amanda seems like a fun loving, down to earth girl not a 'fairy tale wedding' girl to me. And Jack is like "yeah, I guess we'll have a nice wedding and all since I love you, like, a bit, I guess. " Luckily this scene is interuppted by Mason calling and asking to have lunch with Amanda. Amanda immediately informs Emily of Mason's invite and Emily tells her to tell Mason that there will be no lunch. Furthermore, if he doesn't leave her alone she is going to get a restraining order.  Amanda still wants to bust out the crowbar, after all, several months have gone by without her whacking anyone and she's getting bored. Emily reminds her that she has a family to look after now, and violent crime may not be the best idea.

At the Grayson manor, Conrad is feeling blue about their imminent downfall but Victoria tells him not to give up, they aren't going to go down without a fight. At the subplot, Kenny's brother, Anders from Battlestar Gallactica, shows up and some exposition informs us that they want to get revenge (!) on Jack and Declan's father for...something. Kenny's having second thoughts though, since he's starting to like the brothers. Well, that makes one person.

Mason shows up to question Amanda and she says she will tell him everything...somewhere else. Somewhere where offing someone via crowbar is less obvious. Amanda tells Mason that Emily is a psychopath (she really is, right?) and Mason eats up every word but when he turns around, Amanda has the crowbar at the ready. Fortunately Emily swoops in and stops Amanda's murderous ways. Then she straight up tells Mason that SHE is Amanda Clark. Well, that was a twist, but I liked it!

Nolan hands over the incriminating cheque linking Nolcorp, David Clark and Grayson Global because he loves Emily THAT much. Also there is dramatic glass smashing! Aiden also loves Emily and wants to make up for ditching her in the weird revenge school maze. Meanwhile, at the Graysons, an investor meeting is going on and the others  The Initiative have infiltrated said meeting. Kara has (not surprisingly) ditched her flight and has rented a car on Victoria's credit card. What? We already know she is a.) not smart and b.) not smart. Kara is intercepted by Mason who is being told what to say by Emily, namely that Gordon has left her. He goes off script though and tells Kara pretty much everything. Knowing that the Graysons have stolen not one but two of her husbands is too much for Kara and she takes off to go on her own murderous rampage. Jeez, Amanda really could have been her daughter.

While the investors discuss Conrad's ousting with Daniel, Nolan breaks into Mason's house and Kara breaks into the Grayson's house. When Victoria tries to tell Conrad about their son becoming Emperor Palpatine, she finds him being held at gunpoint by Kara. Kara  lets loose about Victoria's man-stealing ways, framing ways and general badness but Conrad defends her. This scene was so touching, Conrad takes all the blame and truly seems to love Victoria, or at least realise that he once did. Victoria decides to improve Kara's mood by telling her that husband number 2 actually killed husband number 1. Frankly, I wouldn't bother telling anything to Kara, that woman is crazy AND in denial.

Nolan plants evidence that will frame Mason for, well, everything and the police swoop in to arrest him (Mason, that is). Meanwhile, Emily is watching everything go down at the Grayson's. Kara has turned off some of the cameras (I didn't have her pegged as a tech-savvy kind of woman but okay, I guess). Emily calls Aiden who comes to the rescue of Victoria and Conrad, after instructing Emily to turn off the cameras. Later, Conrad and Victoria discover the cameras were off and believe that this was the Initiative's doing.

Kara wakes up  in a car with Emily. Emily tells her that Aiden is undercover and they give her a full tank of gas and her meds so she can make her exit. I really didn't like this character, so I'm hoping she stays gone for a while .

Emily goes to visit Mason in jail where he believes he will be getting out soon and she believes that this is not so. She tells him he will confess to everything and in exchange she will get him out by confessing that is was all her...after her vendetta is done. Then he can write a book about it.

Emily goes home to find Aiden there and....they make out! Yay!  Sigh, I wish Aiden was mine. Next door, Victoria is about to rat on Daniel when Conrad tells her that it can wait. Then he kisses her on the forehead. Aww, another good episode and more roof that Conrad and Victoria really are the characters who are driving this show emotionally.

Missed the last recap? Read it here

Revenge Season 2-Episode 6

Hola readers, I have been busy settling into my new place but here are recaps of the last two episodes! At last!

You know, one of my favourite moments of the last season was when Conrad confessed that he used to love Victoria. The relationship between these two, however troubled, has always been, to me, the most touching. Anyway, Conrad and Victoria are being fitted for their wedding attire what Daniel sulks around. Sure, he's taken Emily's advice about being less obvious but he is doing a shitty-ass job of it, in my opinion. Next door at Emily's house, Emily tutors Amanda about her scar removal, so Amanda can relay that information to Mason. I like Mason a lot, despite the fact that he is quite the villain himself. Then again, who isn't on this show?

Meanwhile, Kara is perfecting her super creeper mode and is spying on Victoria who is preparing for her wedding day by looking at a picture of her former lover, David, and Kara's former lover and murder extraordinaire  Gordon Murphy. A flashback reminds us that Kara and Gordon were in love, with a capital L, also that they liked to stroke each other with sunflowers. If we've learned one thing so far, it's that Kara makes really regrettable life choices. In another flashback Emily remembers drawing alongside her mother, and then Emily and Kara discuss the Graysons. Kara proclaims that they will get what's coming to them. You know, Daniel should really be Kara's child instead of Emily because they both have the same level of subtlety. 

Emily, who actually has a decent revenge plan, unlike those two halfwits, goes to collect Gordon Murphy out of the freezer she has been keeping his body in. Whaaa? And also....what else is in there?! Amanda tells Mason about her scar removal and how important her family is and, amazingly, Mason seems to believe all this. He must be hanging out with Daniel too much. After she calls Emily to tell her that she's done with this crap and she's going to handle things her way, ie: with a crowbar. At Chez Grayson, Victoria and Charlotte have a tender moment before Charlotte tells her that she will be in the boring subplot for the remainder of this episode. Conrad wonders where his cuff links are.  Speaking of the boring subplot, evil and badly named Kenny, apparently has his own idea about how much booze should cost and their alcohol provider storms out muttering about how Jack and Declan's father wouldn't be too proud of them. Bitch please, Jack is a whiny and useless drunk and Declan is an idiotic thief, I don't think where they buy their booze would even register on their dad's proudness o-meter. 

Emily goes to visit Nolan and tells him not to attend the Grayson wedding but he's going, if not to show off his new, heterosexual relationship, then to find out for himself what she's up to. Mason interrupts asking for Nolan to trace 'Gordon Murphy's cell', ie: the piece of evidence Emily planted via Amanda and that will surely lead to someone's demise. The information from Nolan leads Mason to a trailer where he finds Gordon's body  and Conrad's missing cuff link. He calls up the police who raid Casa Grayson while they are at the wedding.

Victoria is wearing a grey wedding dress, which I have to say, I loved, when Conrad shows up and gives a impassioned speech about how they were meant to be together and gives Victoria a bedazzled gun in case he can't protect her. Aww! She receives a call from Mason, and then heads out to be remarried to Conrad. Everyone dances with everyone at the reception. Daniel still loves Emily, Aiden also loves Emily, Ashley is jealous and Padma isn't up to no good. Just then the cops burst in, having conveniently found the same gun that was used to kill Gordon and arrest Conrad. 

Back at subplot bar Jack thanks his customers and toasts the new bar. Kara bitches about how horrible her life is, how she just can't win. I think a unanimous cry of  'shut the fuck up, Kara" just went around the bar, although who is really paying attention to this plot anyway?

Padma apologizes to Nolan and he gives a kind of creepy speech questioning how far she will go to right her wrongs.  Victoria goes to visit Conrad in jail, of course, he thinks she's behind this but she insists she isn't. After she leaves, the initiative rolls in to bust Conrad out, at a price of course. Unfortunately, as he later tells Victoria in their room, they won't know what that price is until it's too late. 

Kara confronts Victoria , having seen the news of Gordon's demise on the news and Victoria implies what everyone within a 10 mile radius has already figured out, that they were lovers. Kara storms off, clearly on the edge of a mental breakdown. 

Aiden and Emily nearly kiss, after some discussion about how much Ashley knows. Um, I think they must have come in short because there were a few scenes that felt unnecessary. This was one and the other one as a montage of Emily setting up the fake crime scene. I mean, zero percent of people watching this show were wondering how Gordon's body got set up in the trailer. It was pretty straightforward. Anyway,  Mason is pondering things when he makes the connection between Amanda and Emily being together in jail. Unfortunately, as we will see in the next episode, this means absolutely nothing, since he wasn't smart enough to figure out what it actually meant that they knew each other before. Still, it was a great episode and I can't wait to see what happens next between Conrad and Victoria. 


image source

Revenge Season 2-Episode 5

Last Time on Revenge: Amanda took a fall and ended up in the hospital. Jack and Declan are dads and uncles, respectively and Kara is a killer!

And now: Revenge has certainly taken a turn this season with Emily seeming less in control and more emotional than ever, but is this a good thing? Some, including myself, miss the more cold and calculating Emily, the one who is going to take down anyone and everyone that is in her way. However,  I feel that, realistically ( should we use that word when talking about soap opera?) even someone bent on Revenge, with a capital 'R' would have moments of weakness and humanity. Anyway. I digress. We open with Emily waking up from a bad dream about her mothers attempt at drowning her and she's cuddling with Aiden! personally I found this more compelling than her dream, if only because I wish it was I cuddling with Aiden. Not one to waste time with pleasantries or general niceness, Emily tells Aiden that this spooning doesn't mean anything, she doesn't want him or need him around and she's getting out of there.

Next we find ourselves at the Graysons where Victoria is pruning her roses, you know, as one does when Kara marches in. Victoria turns several shades of blue at the sight of Kara's weird bangs and even weirder bracelets. Seriously though, what is with those things?

To my surprise, Victoria doesn't stab Kara with the shears, instead they have tea. Kara uses her super (not) skills of digging for information while Victoria gives her a patronizing "bitch please" look. Kara stabs her self with a metaphor  rose and excuses herself to the washroom. Victoria uses this opportunity to call Conrad and speculate as to why Kara is still alive and sitting her poorly dressed behind on their sofa.

Conrad turns several shades of blue too. He is in a meeting with Aiden , who I totally forgot was some kind of proxy. Conrad promises to tell Aiden everything and then sends him to Daniel so he and Victoria can wring their hands over the sudden reappearance of Kara. Look guys, I do not know anything about accounting or running businesses or anything, so suffice to say that Grayson Global is up to no good and Aiden wants to find out what's what While he and Daniel are discussing things I don't know anything about, Ashley storms in and ill advisedly mentions David Clarke, then suggests they get drinks on the corporate card.

Back at the boring subplot, the guy who's trying to con Declan and Jack out of the bar (nope, not going to bother to learn his name) shows u just in time to see Charlotte returning Declan's jacket.  Con man guy comments that Charlotte is a classy bitch so she probably wouldn't go for a groupon and that Declan reminds him so much of himself at that age and I can only assume he means that they were both about as bright as a cloudy night and greedy to boot.  Con man tries to hurry up his take over of the bar and honestly I don't understand why this story exists. Declan and Jack give exactly two shits about the bar  (which is two more than I give about these characters) so the could have just sold the thing, and what does this rich (and evil) guy want with a moldy dive bar anyway?

After stopping by the hospital to discuss baby swaddling with Jack and learning about the existence of Kara, Nolan storms over to Emily's to give her what for and to tell her that his dad died. He notes that just because his dad was a normal (ie: not framed for terrorism)  guy doesn't mean he cares any less. Well,except that he obviously didn't keep in touch with his dad since he (his dad) was dead for 6 months before Nolan even noticed! Anyway, Emily looks sympathetic but can't even muster a hug. They go to visit Amanda in the hospital and she seems to have completely recovered from her dive off the Grayson balcony.  At Casa Grayson, Victoria has invited Kara to stay with them and they all agree since they are all trying to spy on each other. On another balcony Kara and Victoria are discussing how Victoria is a man stealing ho. Is it wrong that I'm on Victoria's side here? I mean, she thought Kara was dead AND Kara tried to kill her own daughter. I think that's fair grounds for divorce, although I guess she is being painted as having a mental illness in which case I think getting medical treatment might have been a better idea than locking her up. Anyway, Charlotte informs them that Amanda has woken up and Kara heads to the hospital to continue being creepy.


While Emily carries baby Carl, Kara exposits that Amanda was such a good baby, so filled with goodness,  such a good person, I mean, really, REALLY good. I think Emily is thinking “ unlike the cold hearted revenge seeking beeyotch she is now!” This tender moment is interrupted by Mason Treadwell who is digging around for information. He spies Amanada’s back in the robe. This shot was a bit weird but it’s going to be important later so don’t forget it. After they rid themselves of Mason, Emily tries to get rid of Kara saying that Amanda needs to rest and Kara can visit them later.  While Emily drives Kara home she comments how horrible it is that her own daughter didn’t recognise her. Emily comments that she doesn’t know how that must feel.

At Casa Emily and Amanda, Amanda says things are going ‘fine’. I would say that if I just took a dive off of a balcony and my baby daddy was an ambivalent whiner I would not be doing ‘fine’ but, to each their own. Kara comes in to tell Amanda that she wasn’t well and that she’s sorry, etc.  Amanda is so moved that she tells her all is forgiven. I know Amanda hasn’t always been a likable character but she certainly is empathetic and puts herself into Emily’s shoes very well. Anyway, Emily listens from outside the door and is moved to tears. Some flashbacks inform us that Kara and David agreed to tell Amanda that she, Kara, had died since it would be easiest for Amanda.  We also learn that it was Padma who raised the red flags about David Clark over at Grayson Global, she was concerned after finding the cheque last episode. She leaves the cheque lying around but Nolan is too distracted by his new found heterosexuality to notice or care and promises his new girlfriend night of naughtiness.  Aiden discovers that Emily has Gordon’s cell phone and gets all cranky pants (what else is new?). He storms off to conspire with his new friend Daniel.

Confession time! After a touching conversation between Emily and Kara and some more exposition from Emily about forgiveness, Emily confesses to Amanda that she lied about Jack not being the baby’s daddy. Rather than slapping a ho as I would have done, Amanda is understanding and they both discuss how much Jack deserves happiness. What? I don’t understand this at all. What redeeming qualities does Jack have?

In other romantic news, Conrad proposes to Victoria so they can have and hold each other and not have to testify against each other. After dropping in to annoy Victoria, who is raiding Kara’s room, Mason heads over to visit Amanda and question her about how she is missing a scar. Mason totally knows what’s going on! I think this is a bit weak since scars fade and can be removed but in any case, he’s onto them and this surely spells trouble.

To surmise: Aiden is a sexy beast, Conrad and Victoria are  thinking ahead, Nolan is a heterosexual and Jack and Declan are getting more and more boring, and and more and more stupid with each passing episode.

Kitchen Nightmares Season 6 Episode 1

I don't watch reality TV but I have to confess that Kitchen Nightmares is a guilty pleasure of mine. I started watching the UK one on Netflix and was impressed. The show was well done, beautifully shot and a great TV show in it's own right. Then I started watching the American one. Like other American shows it's dramatic, edited together to maximize this drama, full of yelling and bad voice overs. It is not a great show. However, it is, somewhat mockable.

This week Gordon and his ever fading accent are visiting an Italian eatery called La Galleria 33 which is run by two (delusional, as always) sisters, Rita and Lisa and one (Spanish speaking, as always) chef called Doug. Some preamble informs us that Rita likes to smoke and Lisa likes to drink and together they like to threaten the servers. Their parents run a very successful Italian restaurant and they have done everything to try and be as successful as their parents. They have tried such things as changing their curtains and adding '95' to the end of their prices. Their mother has suggested that the problem is the font in the menu. I'm sure that the real problem is the food but still, their mother runs a successful restaurant and they don't so maybe they should listen to her.

Well Gordon shows up and Rita and Lisa are sitting outside arguing about whether they should spit or swallow (ooer) their gum. At least they seem to have watched the show before and know that Gordon doesn't approve of gum chewing. I always find it hilarious when Gordon shows up and the restaurant owners are all "but we thought he would like our food! Why is he so mean??" Gordon walks right past them, only to discover they are the owners. They discuss the business. Like every other episode, the restaurant is in the shit, the cooks and servers are lazy, etc. Rita finks on Lisa for drinking at work and Lisa is all "duh! He would have figured it out when he sees the service later". HAHAHA. I do appreciate Lisa's dedication to honesty.

"Don't swallow, girl!"    

Next it's time to try the food. Server Sara, who we can all tell is going to say every horrible thing she can imagine about the place, goes to take Gordon's order. She recommends the seafood ravioli while Rita watches in fear from behind the bar. Rita mentions that the ravioli are 'not good'. Sara is kind of dumb. When Rita confronts her she just laughs like she's happy to see her boss suffer rather than saying "I want him to see what the food is really like so he can fix it!" Anyway, Gordon makes his usual comments about the food. Basically just compare the dish with some inanimate and inedible object roughly the size of the food you are eating and voila! Ie: This potato tastes just like a rock. Gordon also thinks the ravioli is "not good". Sara informs him that everything is frozen. Duh.

Next he calls a strange guy, called Pat over. Pat explains that he used to be in shoe sales and now he is the GM here at the restaurant. I think this picture says it all.

Rita swoops in to inform Gordon that Pat is actually a busboy. At this point I really like Rita, she's a bit clueless but at least she seems to give a shit. After the usual exclamations of shock that Gordon didn't like their food, Lisa says she isn't going to call Gordon 'chef'. Rita says 'at least call him 'Mr. Gordon'.' 

Next it's time to meet the chef. Doug is the ex husband of Rita. I do not know why people on this show always think it's a good idea to work with their exes. Maybe if they were amicable but it's always like "maybe if you'd been nicer to me when were were married you would be able to cook a decent veal!". Anyway, I'm trying to like Doug but he seems kind of useless. He says he knows how to cook good food but he's too lazy and doesn't care. Rita and Lisa hand his ass to him but he just stands there looking bored. Next it's time for the dinner service. Doug clearly has never expedited in his life. Gordon comes around to try and encourage him to call out bills, etc but Doug just drops some chicken on the floor and then tries to cook it anyway. Gordon seems too bewildered to even yell at this guy. He goes to tell the girls about what just happened and since now both have them have boarded the delusion train they say 'yeah but he wasn't going to serve it!'. I am really curious as to what they think he WAS going to do with  it. The famewhores  customers who have just come in to be on TV guests, as usual, start sending food back with suspiciously specific complaints (ie: "this ravioli is not authentic, and doesn't the chef know about salt?!). Rita has now completely lost it and confronts a customer who sent some cold food back. Rita rudely informs her that it is not cold, even though basically everyone in the restaurant and some customers from next door have tried it and agreed it was cold. They go inspect all the fridges and find many nasty things, etc. Nothing really  new or shocking here. Lisa, not wanting to be left out, storms off saying she's leaving and Gordon tells her that if she goes, he goes. AND CUT. To Be Continued. NB: The customers new they were being filmed and scenes are not shown in order that they were filmed. No shit. 

I kind of liked this episode. I think they have given the voice over guy a holiday though because he seemed oddly absent.