Covert Affairs- Season 3 Episode 1

That's right friends, Covert Affairs is back which means we have another season of angsty ''looks" between Auggie and Annie (while Florence and The Machine belts out a tune) and super patriotic dialogue to look forward to. When we left season 2, evil Jai was evil and Annie had realised her love for Auggie just as he was about to fly out to see his girlfriend in a distant land. Season 3 begins with a bang (spoiler alert!) Annie rolls into work with some 4th of July cupcakes (made by her sister) only to be greeted by some trite "go-America" dialogue from Auggie. I so wish I worked for the CIA so I could laugh hysterically at how inaccurate (I hope) this show is! Anyway, she's barely finished distributing her baked goods when she gets a mysterious note to go meet someone in a diner. Who should she find there but Evil Jai who conspiratorially tells her that the CIA is not to be trusted or something. Does anyone else find it a bit hilarious that Jai, basically the only not white person on this show (and he has an English accent to boot) is the character that went from possible love interest and all around good guy to EVIL VILLAIN/MENTAL BREAKDOWN  so quickly? Well don't think about it too much because he promptly gets blown up! Annie is totally traumatized by this turn of events and so is the entire office. It's a somber day at the CIA when Auggie gets 'promoted' to look into Evil Jai's affairs and Annie gets hauled off for a polygraph test. The boss men totally think she bombed Jai but are sooo convinced of her innocence when she storms off, cussing like a sailor (not really, she said 'shit') ...straight into the arms of her new boss. I am pretty sure new boss is a villain because a.) her name is Lena which is pretty much the name given to all female villains in these kind of shows and b.) she was totally a bad guy on a different show (which?) and c.) she gives Annie some female empowerment speech and tells her to report to her super weird new office! When Annie arrives, Lena is all "oh we do things differently here". No duh, her office totally looks like Stargate Command! They quickly get to discussing some Russian who's up to no good. My favourite part of this scene was that even the characters are like "the Cold War is over, y'all!" In any case, we know what the arrival of a Russian means, Annie is headed overseas armed only with her high heels and ability to speak virtually any language.  Once she arrives in Morocco she quickly disconnects the brake lights on her rental car to "accidentally" have the Russian baddie crash into her. After playing the enraged American they go for coffee! Annie is like "we should go to this secret valley where you are doing something corrupt and surely aren't going to kidnap me". Russian Baddie is like "great idea!" Annie rings up her boss to get some info but new boss is all "I'm not a tight ass like Joan, why don't you go drink some vodka or whatever they do in Morocco". In the worlds most boring subplot, Joan and Arthur have some little spat or something. Also, Auggie is totally pissed at having to take over Evil Jai's office especially when he finds out Jai was doing everything super secretly! Of course he was! That's what you get for being a super patriot, Auggie! Even so, we all know that any one of us would totally hit that amiright?

RIP Evil Jai

Back in Morocco Annie goes to a market where she gets some device which will scan Russian bad guy's computer. The prop definitely looks like an early 90's cell phone and, frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if it was one. Since Covert Affairs wishes to leave no cliché unexplored, Annie is chased through the market by the German tourists she saw earlier. When she escapes she promptly calls her boss and reports everything just as....Russian bad guy ( I can't even remember his name now) shows up and they head off. To my surprise he doesn't kidnap her he just takes her to a secret oasis which he says he owns. My favourite part of THIS scene was Annie wearing high heels to go to a valley in the desert! They were wedges, but still! Unfortunately the romantic picnic is interrupted by a giant cliché sandstorm. They are making their hasty getaway when the car breaks down. Fortunately Annie quickly repairs it, just in time for some sexy sand removal and making out. Russian baddie takes Annie to his posh apartment and goes to take a shower while Annie scans his computer, through the locked door of the safe. I sincerely hope that the CIA actually has such technology 'cause that would be awesome. She also discovers the passports of the  German tourists who we soon learn are deceased, with no clue to who might have killed them. Annie doesn't find out though because she is busy showering with the hunky bad guy. Girlfriend does have her priorities sorted! Auggie also hears this news and tells his new employees to get on that. Conveniently one of his men appears to tell him that they have found some files with a weird cipher and a strange symbol on the box....the same symbol Annie's new love interest/bad guy has tattooed on his shoulder. Ooh. I love this show, and despite the excess of cheese in this episode I am totally hooked to see what kind of shoes Annie will wear next how this plot unfolds and what Evil Jai was into.