And Now:
High speed chase through the airport! Airport chase is a spy show staple so of course it's the opening scene! Meanwhile in the States, Evil Jai gets a star for his service to his country, blah blah blah. Do corrupt agents still get a star? I mean, that must have been a pain in the arse during the Cold War. Annie approaches "Lena" with the info she got off of Russian Baddies iPad but says she thinks it might not be of good quality. She totally thinks she just got his porn collection or something but Lena is sure that it is useful since Annie is such a good agent. Ah yes, Annie's agent skills are about as good as Emma's Sheriff skills on Once Upon Time. We quickly learn that the high speed chase we saw earlier was some Spanish officials chasing a Canadian couple through the airport. Hahaha! I love it. Even Canadians are bad guys on this show. I'm sure this couple did something really bad like overstay their VISA. As it turns out the are fronting for that other evil Communist country, China and they are in Spain to do pick up a computer virus. I appreciate this show's dedication to showing us exotic and exciting destinations but is Spain really the place to go for a computer virus? I mean, with all due respect to this country, they aren't known for their technology, unless you count their liberal laws vis a vis illegal downloading. Anyway, Joan and Lena get into a bitch fight over Annie. Lena scores one point by saying that 'Annie picked up some bad habits along the way' but Joan wins and gets to send Annie and Auggie to Barcelona. Despite the fact that her wardrobe is more unrealistic than Auggie referring to Annie's Louboutins as "kitten heels" (Shoutout to the pilot!), I am on team Joan. Lena is clearly the bad guy here which is a shame since she gets all the feminist rhetoric. After arguing about who gets what seat Annie and Auggie are off...pretending to be a married couple on a honeymoon. I have to say, I always love the 'spies pretending to be married' theme. Remember when X-files did it? Hilarious. Anyway, There they are having coffee and whining about "Spanish time". Ha. Eventually they have their meet and get the 'package' but not before chatting about whether it's a good idea. Um, I know the tax payers are footing the ill for your flight and all but maybe you could have discussed that BEFORE leaving the country. They go back to their hotel or safe house or whatever and Annie starts cracking jokes about their happy married life. Auggie doesn't hear a thing, though, because he has his headphones on. When he finally takes them off it's to tell Annie that he is planning to propose to his girlfriend of FOUR MONTHS. WTF Auggie, WTF? Annie says, more or less, the same thing but they both agree that life is short and reminisce about their frenemy Jai was blown up. Cue a phone call from Joan saying it's not safe. Fisticuffs in the elevator! High speed chase on the fire escape! Someone makes off with the 'package'! And the most unrealistic point-Auggie and Annie speak Catalan! They are supposed to be tourists, pretty sure the spy passed by them and heard them talking and was like "Catalan speaking tourists?! These are the guys!"
Back stateside, Arthur goes to visit Jai's pa in jail and pump him for information. Lena wants Annie to go to Munich and seduce her Russian bad guy some more and Auggie has a midlife crisis. Poor Auggie, every episode he has some kind of crisis. Auggie suddenly decides that he knows how to find Red Rover the creator of the virus, (not before a spontaneous trip to Parc Guell) but given that we have no information this seems unlikely. After Annie and Auggie settle their marital discord they head back to the restaurant and start stalking their waitress but she threatens them with a taser. Annie one ups her with a gun, though! After they enter her apartment/computer-virus-creating den they are all "oh hi, Red Rover, isn't it a coincidence that we found you just like that!" It sure is. Auggie has a cunning plan to turn her to work for them. Pilar (Red Rover) has a cunning plan to test Auggie's blindness-she waves her tatas in his face, but nope, he's blind. Auggie gives a really halfhearted speech about doing good, not evil, but Pilar isn't having any of it! Annie decides to take a new approach and offers Pilar more money. Pilar is all "ostia! let's go!" Unfortunately some goons are lurking outside so they go out the fire escape (I presume) again! After momentarily losing Pilar she reappears in what is, hands down, the best scene in this episode-ON A MOTORCYCLE WITH A SIDECAR. Of course Auggie goes in the sidecar, and of course I was hysterically laughing at this point. Well, we know how this ends. Pilar goes back to the States to work with Joan and Auggie tells Annie he's off to Africa to propose to his girlfriend. Annie is depressed, momentarily, and then heads off to Munich (looking fantastic, I might say!) to seduce her lover/potential spy-man of the Russian persuasion. The biggest shock in this episode was the lack of Florence and the Machine. Nonetheless, I love this show. Please don't change, Covert Affairs!
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