Now let's talk about Once Upon A Time, argh and lack a day, this episode was terrible. Both David and Mary Margaret are so smug and stupid that I cannot muster any sympathy for either of these idiots. MM and David decide that, since they didn't exactly end their affair as they had decided to in basically every single episode previous to this one, it is time to tell David's wife. She has some good news of her own, she is going to law school, good for her. Anyway, David is too much of a coward to tell her that he's been sneaking around so he says he's been having trouble 'connecting' which sounds uber lame but also like he needs more fiber. His wife goes running to Regina and tells her that David is leaving her. Regina is kind of a bitch and whips out some (horrid) pictures of David and Mary Margaret kissing. And then the best thing ever happened on this show. David's wife marches straight into the elementary school and SLAPS that dowdy slut into next year! In front of all the school children! YES! Personally I was hoping for more profanity but fair enough, it's prime time television, but they could have at least slipped in another slap/punch/drop kick. She then confesses that David never mentioned the affair and Mary Margaret is all "but, but, he said he would". Hahahaha! Owned, bitch! The second best part of this episode is that the towns people are so outraged by this affair that they give her mean looks and spray paint TRAMP on her car. Never mind that only 75 year old people say tramp, this is excellent work townspeople. Meanwhile mysterious stranger picks up Emma on his motorcycle. She is like "you expect me to get on that thing?" which, that's a joke right? Surely the woman who banged some random guy, had his kid in jail and is bail bondsman isn't afraid of a motorcycle? Anyway, he takes her to a "good watering hole" which is a well that, if one drinks the water, will return something that was lost to you. In a stunning feat of bad writing, Emma is like: "how do you know so much about this town?" and MS answers "I know all this for one reason. I read the plaque". (Note to Emma: In the future check for plaques) This coincides with the fairy tale for this week. Good old Charming is running away at mach speed, because that's what he does, when he runs into...his future wife! He kindly tells her that he will not, under any circumstances, be marrying her. When he finally shuts up, she is like "listen, the writers don't hate me THAT much, I am also in love with someone else, unfortunately he was accidently turned into gold by my dad." She tells him that she needs to go to some magic pond and kill the magical woman there and then at least one of them will get a happy ending. I don't know why she didn't just go slay the woman and magically turn her boyfriend back, since she is infinitely more capable than David/Charming, but I think that would have lead to some lesbianism, definitely a land this show is not willing to go. Anyway, off they go. They get there and some predictably tarty siren appears, turns into Snow White and makes out with Charming. He is like "this isn't real". No shit, if it was that easy to kill the siren why didn't anyone else manage? Maybe it is because of his "fearless bravery" which, kudos to him, is a line he delivers without a trace of irony or even a smirk. Anyway, she sprinkles some water on her statued lover and he turns back into her hottie boyfriend. Yay! Prince Douchebag Charming goes off to find Snow White. Thankfully Red Riding Hood appears to show him the way. Meghan Ory is the actress who we have to thank for the Red Riding Hood role. This is her IMDB picture.
This girl is super lovely, I wished she had more of a role, even in her slutty shorts!
Every one lives happily ever after..not. Mary Margaret is scrubbing TRAMP off of her car when David shows up for a celebratory book reading or something and she is says: "this isn't love! We can't be together." What??? Come on, Mary Margaret, you've said this 5000 times already besides couldn't you have had your moral epiphany earlier? She goes home and mopes. Meanwhile David's wife is speeding off, the mayor burns a letter that she wrote. Of course, she can't leave so she crashes but then...disappears? Where did she go? ? Fredrick, her love interest, appears only to find her empty car. He looks perplexed as if he isn't sure what kind of show he wandered onto. We, the poor abused audience of this show are left wondering too!
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