But am I a feminist?

When I was growing up I never thought much about feminism. My family was an equal opportunity place and both my parents are what I would call feminists. But now that my mid twenties are fast approaching I am more and more concerned about feminism. There have been a few moments in the past years tha made me into a livid feminist. One was a conversation with a male coworker about beer. I told him that I liked a local restaurant because they had Strongbow, an imported cider. He proceeded to tell me that Bulmers cider was better. I said that I preferred Strongbow. Whenever I tell this story I feel like people think I am overreacting and maybe I am, but the fact is the reason it made me mad was that I felt that since I was a woman I wasn't allowed ot have a preferred beer. If I had told a female friend that I preferred one drink over the other they would have said something along the lines of "you know what else is good?"  But since it was a guy he felt he needed to educate me about what I should be drinking. Next was the influx of shows and movies that revolve solely around the rape/torute/murder of women: Law and Order SVU, Criminal Minds, The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. I wonder who gets their jollies watching the torture of women, furthermore, does society hate women so much that there are not one but many shows dedicated to their unfortunate demise? My biggest complaint about these shows though is that after dedicating minutes to gruesome depictions of rape, etc. a character stands up and says "this is really horrible isn't it?" "we'll catch the bastard" as if 2 seconds of acknowledging that rape is bad excuses the fact that people watch hours of it nightly. Now, I am not accusing every writer of being sexist just that I worry about the reason so many people want to watch these shows. These things always make me mad but sometimes I wonder if Ireally am a feminist. The fact is I am conflicted. Although I swear up and down that women don't need to get married or have kids, I too sometimes have a small panic attack when I realise that all my friends are married and making babies and I still live my student life. I agree that women are subjected to unrealistic beauty standards but I love shopping, women's magazines and fashion. I think there's a great division in feminism about what issues should be addressed and even in myself I don't know what issues are most important. Sometimes I wonder what the point is anyway--after years of the feminist movement female babies are being aborted at an astonishing rate in Asia, models get skinner every year and women don't make as much money as men-is feminism a losing game?