Last time on Once Upon a Time: Mulan! Emma and Snow get transported to Fairytale land, along with wraithy dementor and Regina doesn't have any magic left.
And now: Since everyone has now fully realised the extreme stupidity of their situation they are all running around like chickens with their heads cut off while Red Riding Hood, directs traffic: need counselling? Dr. Jiminy can help. Did the wraith destroy your house? There are cots. She says they don't need to worry, since 'their prince is working on something'. I definitely question the smarts of people who put there faith in this tool. Well, he certainly is working on something, that is, harassing Regina. He taunts her about having no magic and they cry about how there families are missing. Charming quips that if Regina needs magic to keep her son then she doesn't really have him. Don't take advice from this guy, Regina! A point goes to Regina though for telling Charming she doesn't want advice from someone who wittingly sent their own daughter to....MAINE!
Meanwhile, Young Innocent Regina was once without magic too, trying to escape her villanous, boyfriend killing mother. Unfortunately her mother is stronger but we can see that Regina is already starting on her own dark path.
Back in Storybrook the dwarves are doing some investigating of their own. They send Sneezy outside of the town limits where he promptly has his memory erased. Charming is interrogating Boob Fairy/Mother Superior about the existence of the same tree they sent Snow White away in when Grumpy bursts in telling them all about Sneezy's memory loss. It looks like someone else is questioning Charming's smarts. Charming asks if the memories don't come back when they come back to Storybrook. Grumpy says sarcastically that he wouldn't be yelling 'terrible news' if he had gotten his memory back. Further roving his ineptitude, Charming tells the towns people, to meet back in 2 hours where he will reveal his master plan. As if this guy is even capable of a normal plan, nevermind a f*cking MASTER LAN.
Regina is having issues of her own, namely that she can't use her magic. Jiminy arrives to ask if she wants to talk about her feelings. She doesn't. What she should talk about is her haircut. She's beautiful but there is nothing about her hair that screams "2012". We do get to see more of Regina's past though. Young Regina is having fantasies about killing Snow White, but she finds these fantasies horrifying. Her dad explains that, once upon a time, Regina's mom wasn't the stable boy killing beyotch she is now. Back before she met Regina's dad a mysterious, nameless man brought magic to Regina's mother, Cora. In Storybrook, Regina is searching Mr. Gold's pawn shop for the mysterious magic book. Gold tells her that 'maybe if she just relaxed it would come to her.' HAHAHA. And a point goes to Mr. Gold for bringing some sexual innuendo to this show. Hey, I'd hit it. Creepy, but true. Where was I? Basically the rest of their conversation is that the enchanted forest still exists and Regina gets her book back.
Young Regina lifts the magic book from her mother and, despite a comedic mispronunciation of his name, calls on Rumplestiltskin. Rumple tells her that it's clear she doesn't know what she's doing but that he will be waiting for her when she's ready. Is it just me or has he got a weird accent in this scene?
While Charming tries to think of something resembling a plan, Henry spots the Mad Hatter's hat. They don't know who he is though so Charming goes to Mr. Gold for some magic. Mr. Gold is a regular drug dealer but he just hands over the magic and then, after finding out they can't leave Storybrooke smashes some crap in his awn shop.
Rumplestiltskin, meanwhile offers Young Regina some magic, a magic mirror that will transport Cora to another world. Regina doesn't want to use magic but she sure as heck wants to send her mother to another world (presumably hell, or, you know, Maine, which Regina clearly sees as on par with hell). Back in Storybrooke, Regina reads the magic book which looks like the diary of a 13 year old, seriously, it has a gemstone on the front. It's full of magical roofies and Regina inhales all her magical powers back, just as her dead apple tree comes back to life.
Since prince Charming hasn't shown up to help his peasants, Regina shows up and magics them all. While some flames dance behind her head, Henry tells everyone that if it's him she wants, it's him she'll have. Meanwhile, Charming follows the Mad Hatter's hat to where he (the Hatter) is trapped in his car. Charming hauls him out and threatens to lock him up if he doesn't get it to work. He says he is the closest thing to being a sheriff this town has. This is the most comedic line of the show. I mean, in what way is he like a sheriff? David is too inept to show up to a meeting on time, never mind police a town. Red Riding Hood shows up to tell him that the townspeople are scared crapless by Regina's new found magic powers and are threatening to leave town. David is all "who cares? I have my own problems". Yep, a stand up leader he is.
Regina, meanwhile, is trapping Henry in a tree, just like her mother did to her in an earlier scene. Sigh, this show is about as subtle as a punch in the face. Regina tells Henry that he can do magic too. He can....bake cakes! Seriously, what child would want to bake cakes if they had magic? Henry says he doesn't want to force anyone to love him.
Young Regina is once again being tortured by her mother when she finally gets up the nerve (with some help from Rumple) to heave her mother into the mirror. Yay! However, this show really needs to invest in some less obvious storytelling.
Charming blocks the (apparently, only) way outta town and gives a pretty good speech (dammit) about how our memories are art of us and blah, blah, blah. And now it's time to write software and eat frozen burritos? WTF, who was that directed at? That was an odd choice of words. Well, don't think about it too much.
Young Regina is (again) trying to leave when she is stopped by Rumple who goads her into telling him that she liked magicking her mother into never-never land. He says he will help her, and she can decide whether she becomes like her mother or not. Rumple says that one day Regina is going to do something for him.
Back in Storybrook, Charming storms Regina's house with his sword. Where did he get a sword? Regina says that Henry can go with him because she wants to redeem herself and wants Henry to really love her. Aww, Team Regina! She also tells Charming that the forest still exists but she doesn't know how to get there.
Things in the town go on as normal, but over in the Enchanted Forest Emma and Snow are being dragged behind Mulan's horse. Even though the horse seems to be going at minimum seed, Emma and Snow stumble around like drunken sailors. Then again, I've never been dragged behind a horse so I shouldn't judge. They are thrown into a dungeon where, who should they meet but...Cora. Alive and she hasn't aged a day. I think time stops in the forest? I have no idea.
So far no pivotal characters have been hatched this season so in my books season 2, is still in it to win it.
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