Why I Wish I was French

Recently I was taking cash at work when some customers asked me where I was from. I told them I was from the same town where I worked. "No,no" they insisted "where are you originally from?". "Here" I insisted. They replied that my accent was so nice and different, maybe I was German or French? Nope. That said, I love these comments, people ask me all the time if I am French or some other nationality. I was getting on a plane from Barcelona to London a few months ago and the flight attendant said "Hola" and "Gracias" to me but 'Hello' and "Thank you" to the English person behind me. I wanted to say " I AM ENGLISH. I AM THE MOST ENGLISH LOOKING PERSON EVER. WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO ME IN SPANISH?" but the other part of me loves it. I love to imagine that the people int the small city where I work think I am some sort of forgeiner. My accent hasn't always sounded the way it does now, this has taken a lot of hard work and subtle changes. The way I dress, act, my interests, it's all about pretending I am the person who I want to be, which I guess is one of those self fulfilling prophecies type things. In any case, what I want to be is an exotic French person. Every year I read a number of books about French style, cooking, you name it. I imagine that if I lived in France I would always be stylishly dressed, seducing men left right and centre, eating delicious food which I made, drinking fabulous wine and walking my little dog (yes! I actually have one. 1 point). I generally appreciate my French customers at work because the English ones are always in a hurry, they're never happy with their spot in the restaurant. The French however are laid back, if it's busy and their food doesn't come out in 5 minutes they don't complain or threaten you. People who don't dress nicely to get the mail or think they don't have to look nice because "people should like me for me" annoy me. I wish I was forward enough to always ask for what I want and even though I love the open, crass talk between my girlfriends and I, I sometimes wish I was more mysterious and elusive. These are the reasons I love my books about France and probably the reason I haven't travelled there very much.I 've been there a couple of times for a few days but I think I haven't gone there for a long time because I'm afraid that I would still be me. I have great style but everynow and then I wear something weird. I'd still be afraid to say what I want and I'd still be shy at times. I'm planning a trip to Montreal in February and I'm looking forward to this immersion into French culture but I know that what I want to be isn't more French, it's just more confident,and I can do that being any nationality.


In anycase, this years book about France is going to be "Parisian Chic" by Ines de la Fressange, it looks so good and the pictures look lush!