Covert Affairs: Season 3, Episode 16

Previously on Covert Affairs: Eyal is kidnapped, Megan is dead, Annie is mad and Auggie is  in love.


And now: Well, I seriously misjudged what kind of show this was, since, as it turns out, Eyal was never in real danger. It looks like he maybe got stabbed with pen? Anyway, Kahleed calls Annie and tells her that in exchange for Eyal's life he wants information on who the spies are in his dad's company and Annie is totally ready to give it to him. Okay, I definitely on team Eyal but Annie is the worst, the WORST main character ever. She would get twenty people killed to save one, she truly is the life ruiner. Anyway, first of all she needs to get the information. A friendly computer hacker tells her she has to get into the American embassy or consulate (are those the same things? I don't know) and hack some files. Annie isn't sure how to do this (again, is it really difficult to get into a consulate? Don't you just have to be a citizen of said country?) but the friendly hacker has a plan, she gets some goons to beat Annie up. She heads to the consulate and even the guy at the desk looks skeptical about her 'scenario'.

Over at Kahleed's House of Torture and Kidnapping, Kahleed tells Eyal that they are practically the same since they're both from the Middle East, I guess. Man, the sexiness level in this room is through the roof, Kahleed is one fine looking bad guy. However, this logic is boggling my mind a little bit. Eyal's mind is not boggled, however, he says that they are EXACTLY the same, since I guess they've both killed people or something. Kahleed looks confused.

Meanwhile, Auggie has fled Iraq and is in  Amsterdam where he reunites with Annie. He suggests that ratting on all their assets might not be the BEST idea ever. He has another idea.  I was only half paying attention at this point so I'm not sure what is plan is. Basically he heads to a head shop and gets some blanks, I think. The head shop owner says that this is a very strange request, but it doesn't seem that strange to me.  Annie calls Kahleed and tells him to meet her somewhere, as she as the file. It is a fake out though! The file is empty. Auggie crashes into Kahleed pretending to be a blind tourist and then Annie shows up and says that the file contains exactly how much Eyal is worth to her. That is, nothing. Man, that's gotta sting. Then she shoots him with the blanks. The three of them, Auggie, Annie and Eyal are reunited on a boat and they flee the scene. The whole time Auggie keeps trying to have " the talk"  with Annie, about how he's in love with her. Annie keeps giving him the look like " awwkwaaard".

After learning that Kahleed will be deported and then ignored by the CIA, Annie uses her skills of jumping to conclusions to decide that the CIA wants her to personally go after Kahleed. Dear CIA, please tell me there is no one actually like Annie in your agency, or heaven help us all. She goes after him but instead of killing him she has a better plan! Boom, this was actually smart on her part, something I can't say often. She shows him a file showing that his father actually had Megan killed and that's he's not really important and blah blah blah. He leaves with a wounded ego and Annie leaves with a boosted ego.

Eyal and Annie say goodbye, and they'll meet again and etc. Booooring. I'm sure some stuff also happened with the Henry Wilcox (heehee) and Arthur Campbell plotline buuuuuuuuuuut I don't care.

Back Stateside, Annie meets with Henry and he gives her a file with some super secret information and tells her he'd like her on his team. Annie says she's in and then heads home where she is about to peruse the file when Auggie shows up. Auggie decides that he's had it with trying to talk to Annie and goes straight for the boob grab. Uff, I know you're blind Auggie but that was FORWARD. They make out and I am confused. These two have zero sexual chemistry, this show needs to stop trying to make this happen.

Well overall a tacky, wonderful, badly acted and hilariously costumed season, although this finale was a bit weak...no cliffhanger or anything right?

Next up...I get caught up with Revenge. Can't wait! Also I share the ten things I learned from watching one season of The Bachelor!

Covert Affairs: Season 3, Episode 15

Previously on Covert Affairs: In case anyone has forgotten, Auggie was in IRAQ! Annie, meanwhile, is running for her life...again.


And now: Annie goes to Luxembourg, Auggie goes to Iraq. Again. Oh and tattoo man gets a name!Auggie and Annie are meeting for a nightcap and after blabbing about herself forever, Annie finally shuts up and Auggie tells her that he is going on some project thing where he will be a 'battle buddy" (lol-right?) and he will help some other guy with his problems, in Iraq. I sense this isn't going to go well but Auggie is optimistic. The next day Annie learns from tattoo man, who we learn is called Barber, that Megan's body was found strangled in Luxembourg. Annie asks Barber if he can make her a fake ID so she can go pretend to be Megan's sister and collect Megan's' personal belongings, namely a flash drive. Barber says he went to prep school. Well, thanks for that insight into your past Barber, but what does it have to do with anything? Is there a course on fake ID's? Anyway, Annie get's her fake passport and jets off to Luxembourg. She goes to the morgue and everything seems to be going well except...fake out! Terrorist Man (Kahleed)'s men start chasing her around with tranquilizer darts. Annie does what anyone who travels in Louboutins would do and knocks this guy over the head with a stiletto  Thanks to Covert Affairs for putting this scene in here, as obviously they know that this is the kind of shit I want to see. The real fake out in this scene is that Annie clocks this guy with what looks like a pump but later she is wearing booties. Were they booties all along? Did she find booties on the way? Why didn't she at least try to look a little bit different? So many questions. She calls for an extraction but the useless twit that's taken over Auggie's desk says it will take half and hour and also kindly tells Annie to shut up. Annie calls Eyal next. Eyal is overjoyed, although we can only wonder why. He tells Annie to escape to Zurich where he will meet her. Annie is all snarky about it but honestly, I'm with the girl at the desk, This guy is saving your ass AGAIN, no need to be an ungrateful bitch about it.

Meanwhile, in Iraq, Auggie is paired with some grumpy guy who is about to get a divorce and has TSD, and I don't want to belittle anyone with actual TSD but basically this whole plot was just to say RAH RAH America right? I mean, there are a lot of American flags in these scenes. Basically they discuss how shitty life is, how crappy it was of the army to give them purple hearts and eventually overcome their problems and live happily ever after. This plot was really cheesy in a baaaad way, so I'm not going to spend any more time on it.

In Zurich, Eyal informs Annie that Kahleed and his British dad are hiding out in Zurich and since Kahleed's bank accounts have been frozen he is getting money from his dad. Eyal and Annie hatch a plan which involves Eyal roughing up some diamond seller (I wish he would rough me up!) and tracking the courier of Kahleed's dinero. Eyal tells Annie that he is no longer in Mossad. They go to some posh place where Eyal has dinner with Kahleed's dad and Annie looks pretty and reads the newspaper. Eyal texts her that the courier is the waiter but then Annie sots Megan. She is alive! Although, I suspect, not for long. Annie tells her that Kahleed is going to kill her but  Megan just flashes a blingy engagement ring and says that they are going to  get married. I don't think so lady. Annie hugs her and tells her it's her choice but she is gonna get killed! The hug was a fake out and she actually just placed a tracker on Megan. Annie is reunited with Eyal but then they hear gunshots and, yes, Megan is dead for reals now. They head back to the safehouse to regroup, where Eyal looks delish and tells Annie that he was wrong and she should use her empathy and not be the cold hearted biznatch he advised her to be last week. Geez, Eyal, make up your mind, oh and that blue shirt is really working for you. Just then the baddies show up and Eyal tells Annie to get out of there. His plan is to distract the baddies so he gives himself up and lets Annie escape. Seriously, if Eyal dies, I will not be watching the next season!!

In the boring subplot, Arthur goes to visit Wilcox (heehee) in jail where he is informed that all will be forgiven for the blowing up of stuff incident. Why? Arthur doesn't know and I think this is a stupid arse subplot  That is all I can say on the matter. I wouldn't even have written about it but I sense it will be important next episode or season.

Annie flees to Amsterdam and is walking around looking lost when she finds a cell phone under a bench that promptly starts ringing. She answers it and....that is all for this episode folks. Really, though, Eyal better be alive at the end of the next episode.

Covert Affairs: Season 3 Episode 14

Previously on Covert Affairs: Annie and Joan are over! Arthur blew some shit up! Terrorists are bad and that ho Parker made a guest appearance.


And Now: Annie and Eyal break up! Eyal and Mossad break up! Megan and Terrorist Man are going strong. At CIA headquarters everyone is 'buckeling down'  after the doctored photo incident. Arthur is potentially in the big doo doo for blowing stuff up to which I say:  NO SHIT. I mean, if the immediate response to any information is to get out the explosives, you probably shouldn't be running the CIA. Just saying. Some guy with tattoos explains how the pictures where doctored, basically, Mossad blah blah, pixels, satellites, spies. Joan doesn't have an effing clue what he is talking about and neither do I! I, however, am not running an international spy organization. Anyway.

Megan, meanwhile, is in protective custody in a hotel. She is pissed that she is being kept in a boring  hotel with no job, friends or boyfriend. To Megan I say, I have watched a lot of TV and escaping protective custody is easy as shit. Annie pays her a visit and considering that it was Annie that got her into this mess, Megan is suprisingly nice.

Back at the CIA they learn that terrorist-man (can't be bothered to learn his name) is going to want revenge...um, isn't that why she was in protective custody in the first place? Anyway. Annie flees the scene and goes back to the hotel to discover that, as predicted, Megan is gone. She decides to track her down on her own. Honeslty, I don't know how this girl even has a job left. She takes off where she encounters Eyal. Even though she is under direct orders TO NOT TALK TO EYAL, they join up and head to a farm or something out in the middle of nowhere. In a garage they discover an abandoned car with a picture of Megan and two bottles of water that have both been used. Eyal uses his astute observational skills and points out that something is not right here. Yes, Eyal they are many things wrong with this scene. However there is one very right thing which is Eyal wearing a tight leather jacket.  Rawr. To the suprise of absolutely no one the car blows up and they head off to find the brother of the guy who is suspected of having Megan. Long story short, they find the brother, get some information from him, Eyal smacks him around a bit. They head to an airfield, find the baddie and kill him.

Now, time for the interesting part. Some backstory from Eyal informs us that once upon a time he did find someone who actually wanted to sleep with him, she was a beautiful woman with poor fashion choices, who he seduced then got to work for him by seducing the very same terrorist who they are now after. She was killed. Eyal was sad. Is this perhaps the reason for the doctored photos?? Mossad boss lady tells Joan that, yes, this was the case.
Annie phones Joan and confesses that she is with Eyal. Joan is so annoyed, as I would be. Annie is soo self righteous and annoying!

Annie confronts Eyal and he says yes, he did doctor those photos and he was acting alone and maybe if she wasn't so fricking gullible she wouldn't get played all the time...hmmm? Annie says that in that case this is "adios" and the two say goodbye. Eyal meets with the boss lady where they discuss how he lied about this which, obviously he was lying. Oh Covert Affairs, stop being so obvious. Then he says goodbye to Mossad and effs off out of there. Mossad lady is sad.

Meanwhile in the far off lands, Megan is reunited with her bf, even though she knows he is a terrorist now she is excited to see him. She tells him Annie's name, social insurance number, phone number, email address, LinkedIn profile, twitter and facebook so he can track her down and kill her. Terrorist man gives her the creepiest smile ever and I thought for sure she was going to be risen-ed too but no.

The episode ends with Arthur being informed that Jai Wilcox is going to be released from jail....who gives a fuck? This plotline was super boring. Way to end the episode on this irrelevant note instead of the creepy smile!

Covert Affairs: Season 3, Episode 13

 Previously on Covert Affairs: Joan is in AA, Annie said no to money, Eyal is my dream husband, Auggie perfected his sad puppy dog eyes and terrorists blah, blah terrorists.

And now: Truth facts! Everyone learns the truth about everything in this episode! We open with Annie searching for some espresso in Eyal's house. Just as she finds it, a parcel gets sent under her door. It's more intel from Eyal regarding some terrorist guy and his American girlfriend. Annie knows there's only one thing to do with such information so she sends a memo to everyone at the CIA. Just kidding, she tells Joan and Arthur. In a true case of "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" or whatever that expression is, Joan says they should sit on this intel since it isn't solid and Arthur thinks they should blow some shit up! Annie thinks that she can turn the American girlfriend, so she heads out to meet her. Annie is all straightforward about it and tells the American girlfriend that her boyfriend is a terrorist. The girlfriend is all "don't judge me, you're young and think you can have it all, but you can't". At this point I kind of like the girlfriend, she is speaking truth facts here for sure, but on the other hand she is dating a terrorist. Also Annie doesn't have much of a leg to stand on since she was also dating a baddie, right? Anyway she has the girlfriend call the terrorist so they can establish a trace but this girlfriend seriously lacks the ability to be subtle and spooks the shit out of her boyfriend. Although I guess terrorists must be easy to spook.

Meanwhile at Casa Auggie, my most hated character is back. Yes, I am speaking of Parker  Man, I thought we were done with this bitch but I guess she just reappeared to seal the deal on how much I hate her. She shows up and Auggie is visibly shaken at the sight of her, or the "sight of her" as it were, but she is tactless and just asks for him to help her parents get the money they should be getting from the government. Auggie is not a jerk so he agrees to help and she gives him a lingering hug. Later in the episode, after Auggie has helped her, he asks her why she came to see him and she says that she wanted to see him. He says that that's not a very cool thing to say to an ex-boyfriend but she one-ups him and says "ex-FIANCE". Bitch please. Auggie kindly tells her to "gtfo", as it were and I am solidly on team Auggie. Dear writers of Covert Affairs, please do not bring this insufferable character back. Thank you.

The men at the CIA have had time to think about the information that Annie brought them and have and have made plans for the blowing up of the bad guys. They are looking at the map thingie in a dark basement room, ie: basically the set of every sci fi, or spy show in the last 40 years. Anyway, Joan is the unlikely voice of reason and says that maybe immediately attacking isn't the BEST course of action, and Annie pipes up that they could still get info from the girlfriend but there is just too much testosterone in the room so that shit gets bombed. However, terrorist man speeds away from the scene of the crime and Annie says "he's smart, he head for the populated areas". Well, no shit, Annie. Even I know that that would be the best course of action. Annie also, immediately knows that the girlfriend will be in danger so she heads to a theater to intercept her. Megan, the American girlfriend, is annoyed and tells Annie that she, Annie that is, enjoys ruining other people's lives and I kind of have to agree with her. She has so far ruined SEVERAL lives on this show to advance her own career. There is a high speed chase with some bad guy that Annie eventually chucks off a roof.

Back at Langley it's girl fight time! Considering I only watch this show to laugh at it and to admire the costume choices, this scene really annoyed me. I hate how mainstream television thinks it's impossible for women to work together and not be catty bitches. Anyway, where was I? Ah yes, Joan is questioning Annie about whether she should be so trusting with Eyal (answer: no) and Annie gets mad and says that at least Eyal has been there for her, ie: he rescued her from jail unlike Joan. Annie needs to shut the fuck up. If I recall correctly, Annie was told to stay out of trouble because the CIA couldn't rescue her if she went on this mission. Instead of civilly telling her this though, the CIA Headquarters become Brokeback Mountain headquarters except that Joan totally can quit Annie. She's had it with this biznatch and tells her that "she is done with her". I lol-ed a lot in this scene because it was so Jr. High!

Meanwhile in the boring subplot, Arthur has totally caught on to the fact that something is up with Joan, he tells her that he will be checking into a hotel (rich people problems) and she tells him that it isn't what he thinks. I guess she tells him the truth but they are interrupted by Annie who has noticed that one of the photos she used as evidence was doctored. Way to notice that at the end of the episode, Annie! Basically the CIA is going to be in the merde, as Gordon Ramsay would say. Joan tells Annie that Eyal played her and while I don't think that's the case, I do think Annie should be more careful about who she trusts. Also I did not really enjoy her pant suit in this episode....where are her ridiculous mini skirts? That's the shit I really want to see.

Covert Affairs: Season 3, Episode 12

Hey guys, I was really sick for the majority of the last two months but since I am feeling better get ready for  more English student ramblings!
Previously on Covert Affairs: Well, I'm too lazy to write that out so here's my last recap!


And now: Annie is back in America after her unfortunate stint in Russia and she has been taken to some place called "Blue Bonnet Farm".  Some creepy guy tells her that she will be staying for a while and that they have brought 'some of her stuff' and proceed to give her a tiny grey bag. What the hell, CIA? Annie has at least 100 pair of wedges and I'm sure that they did not all fit into that tiny bag. Although, maybe nearly being tortured and killed in Russia has rendered fashion less important to Annie since she is wearing some 90's tragedy of a sweater. The creepy guy takes her into...a barn?What, they couldn't afford a chalet or something? Anyway, he accuses her of falling in love with Simon and some other boring stuff and gives her some juice. She is all "whatever, bitch, I nearly died in Russia, your silly questions do not bother me!" Just then a Annie is whisked away, back to CIA headquarters where she is reunited with Auggie and his perpetual longing stare and vests. Joan appears to say that they are on 'orange alert' and some weird orange lights start flashing. For some reason this really made me laugh, do they have lights for every colour of alert? I hope so. Apparently orange alert means that they shut down their computers so pesky foreigners can't snoop because just then Eyal and another Mossad agent roll in.  They have some intel about a Swedish operative who has a watch filled with some kind of information that they want. Basically there is some boring stuff about how Mossad and CIA are working together but the older Mossad lady thinks that the CIA will keep the information for themselves, which, the CIA is totally planning to do. Also Annie is going to get a medal. Annie is all "oh, the one with a cash reward?" but then is totally pissed when Arthur says yes. Girl, I know your boyfriend got shot and all but don't say no to money!
Anyway, Annie and Eyal eventually head over to the missing Swedish lady's hotel where they find her hiding in a closet. She tells them that the some weird guy was asking her a lot of questions about the airline she worked for and she wants out. Eyal basically says "no dice". Sigh, Eyal is just so handsome but that was pretty mean.   Before the matter can be resolved the Swedish asset and her tragic sweater drop dead.
Back at CIA headquarters, Auggie informs Annie that the bad guys are all caught up on Breaking Bad because they used the trusty risen poison on the Swedish informant. He also tells her that he has been doing some research and it looks like our baddie has been funding a terrorist  organization or gun runner or something. He has also discovered that the asset has buried something out in the forest somewhere and Annie takes off there at mach seed with a shovel and a metal detector. Just as she begins her search, Eyal shows up and they bicker a bit about sharing information and blah blah blah.  Eventually they decide to get digging, assuming that they will find the watch. I should say that Eyal digs while Annie stands there looking forlorn. Eyal sees the massive steam trunk key dangling from Annie's neck and asks her about it but she just hides it. They do not find the watch but rather a key to a safe deposit box. Back at the CIA offices Annie has a brilliant plan to go into the safe deposit herself since both she and the Swedish woman are blonde. This seems like a legit plan to me but, Eyal, Joan and Eyal's boss woman do not think so. They list all the things that could go wrong but eventually they agree to let her do it because basically she is Annie and she does whatever she wants anyway. Eyal and his boss lady discuss Eyal's sex life in Hebrew. In short Eyal is not sleeping with Annie but his boss lady thinks he should as it would speed things along. Eyal looks grumpy because we all know his unrequited feelings for Annie. Well, I know at least because those are the same feelings I have for him! Before going to the bank though she heads home, however being that her boyfriend and her both got shot there, she decides it would be more prudent to check into the hotel.A wise choice Annie.
At the bank, the next day, she gets into the safe deposit box and collects the watch but soon is stopped by the baddie. She "hands over the watch" and he flees. After some chasing by Eyal and Annie, we learn that Annie totally fooled that guy (not us though!) and she tells Eyal that she will share the intel on the watch with him. Eyal then gives Annie the key to his apartment in DC and tells her she can stay there and that he made the bed and then he cooks her dinner! While they are eating dinner, Auggie is at Annie's old house banging on the door. Aw, poor Auggie. He really didn't have much of a role in this episode   Eyal heads out saying he has a flight to catch and goes directly to the boss lady with the information that Annie gave him. However, he looks fairly mad about it and refuses to say where Annie is staying. Annie broods about Simon.
In a side plot of extreme randomness, Arthur totally thinks Joan is cheating on him because she is acting all weird and holding hands with some guy but it turns out she is just in AA! What?  I mean, I've never even seen Joan have a glass of wine and suddenly she is an alcoholic? Anyway, that's all for this episode folks, let's hope we see some more of Eyal because he is so dreamy, also was there something strange about Annie's eyebrows in this episode or was it just me?

Covert Affairs Season 3: Episode 11

Previously on Covert Affairs: Annie and Simon were in love, Lena killed Simon, Annie killed Lena and probably wore high heels while doing it!


And now: After killing Lena Annie loudly talks on the phone to Auggie which greatly aides the Russian baddies that are chasing her. They capture her and haul her off to prison where she pretends to be a lost Russian. As a language teacher I just have to ask: does she really have, or thinks she has such a good accent that she could pass off as a Russian native speaker? Anyway.  Her charade lasts for about two seconds until the Russian police officer/interrogation office tells her he knows who she is. Now I, personally, know less than zero about how the CIA works and all of my information (misinformation) comes from the bad TV shows I watch, that said, shouldn't she try to, you know, keep up the act for a while?  Well, she doesn't. The Russians begin to torture her by blasting heavy metal music at her and stealing her bed.

Back Stateside, Arthur is briefing some other unnamed characters about what they will do if Annie blabs to the Russians. Joan gets a bit upset. I like Joan because, she, like Auggie is always giving it her all but she is also completely unrealistic. She told Annie that if she (Annie) got caught they were going to have to deny everything. Realistically (although I use that term extremely loosely in regards to this show) they can't compromise the whole CIA for Annie's personal agenda. Auggie also wants to rescue Annie so he goes to Arthur and makes this face:

Arthur is unmoved by Auggie's puppy dog eyes and continues reading his newspaper, or, no wait those are blueprints from the jail. Arthur tells Auggie they all (ie: Auggie and Joan) want to rescue Annie but they just can't dammit! Russia is just too Russian!

Annie does her best "my spirit is broken" face. It looks just like my " I'm hungover" face. She tries to knife somebody but it doesn't work and she gets sent back to her room. But wait! What is that commotion? That's right! Someone has come to rescue her. In the prison that Auggie and Arthur just wasted a whole scene claiming was impenetrable (ooer). Her rescuer is Eyal! Yay! I guess Annie wasn't just pretending her spirit was crushed as she throws herself at Eyal and looks quite upset. He takes her to a safe house so they can get out of there. Eyal tells her that 'someone' at the CIA was looking out for her and communicating with him (Eyal). Bitch please, we all know 'someone' is Auggie. 

Auggie and Eyal's communication has been via an ad for a lost dog. I guess the 'lost dog' is Annie. 

What a relief, she's not spayed! 

Annie has got some unfinished business though. Her interrogator threatened Simon's sister so Annie stops by. This is not exactly 'laying low' but, as usual, Annie is too busy pursuing her own agenda to worry about the welfare of others. She gives Simon's sister her own fake passport and Simon's sister gives her the key to the family steam trunk. Simon's sister says they are 'family' now. I'm not sure dating someone for a few months makes them family but okay. 

Annie and Eyal make a botched attempt at getting on a train and regroup at the safe house. Annie tells Eyal that she gave her passport away. Uh-oh. Eyal looks pretty mad and tells Annie he will leave her behind. I kind of am on Team Eyal here, Annie is so selfish!  Back in America, they have hatched a plan. Annie and Eyal just need to get on a cargo plane with some fellow spies. Unfortunately they run into a problem. That is, the have to cross an airfield filled with people who could potentially recognise Annie from the wanted posters that seem to be all around. They lure some unsuspecting jeep drivers, steal their jeep, and drive into the complex. The security officers look right at Eyal, the least Russian looking person ever and say 'yep, come on in!'.  The board the plane and take off. They are celebrating their victory when they are stopped by the same interrogator that Annie  had in the prison. At CIA headquarters Auggie and Joan look seriously at things while Auggie claims they are doomed, oh Auggie you say that at least 8 times each episode. 

Earlier Eyal dropped the bombshell that Annie's interrogator had been switched at the last moment. Now he is driving them somewhere and creeping them out by sniffing his gun and generally looking mean. The interrogator, not Eyal. Eyal looks like "yup, just another day in Russia". Annie uses her smarts and threatens Alexei, the interrogator, claiming he is a double agent and if he doesn't let them go she will send that little tidbit to his superiors. Eyal pipes up that he is from Mossad. Alexei pulls over and pretends to take them out into the woods to shoot them. He gives them the key to their handcuffs and sends them off to the nearest port. His accent seems slightly less Russian in this scene. Annie and Eyal escape while, a fairly good singer-songwriter song plays in the background. Eyal looks handsome as ever. 

I love this show, it is so cheesy and once again everyone overacted to the extreme.



Covert Affairs-Episode 10

I know this episode was meant to be super serious but I was laughing all the way through. Now that Annie has made her miraculous recovery she is ready to get revenge for Simon's death by chasing Lena to Russia. Naturally with a name like Lena,  our bad guy (gal) has gone to Russia. Even though Annie is banned from going to Russia since it would jeopardize relations she goes anyway. As usual, Annie's personal agenda is way more important than, you know, whole countries' but anyway, with Joan's (secret) blessing she heads off to Russia to chase Lena and some other really bad guy, also to play piano and other stuff. Auggie doesn't want her to go since I guess he's suddenly realised that the writers want them to be in love. I've said it before but Christoher Gorham really gives it his all in this show. He acts the crap out of Auggie's longing blind-person looks. Anyway, Annie impersonates a deceased spy successfully with her accent-less Russian (I'm so sure). After she arrives in Russia she heads to a music shop to ask about piano lessons  from some guy who can help her. When Annie started laying the piano I laughed so hard. Are we actually supposed to believe that Annie can seak 80 languages, has a killer wardrobe, goes hiking in high heels AND can lay the piano. Too much Covert Affairs, too much. She also works out (without sweating! Amazing) drinks tea with Simon's sister who doesn't seem bothered at all that her brother has died. Eventually piano man comes around and tells her that he and Lena were passionate lovers and she ruined his life with her black, black heart. He knows someone who can help and together they learn that Lena lives like a black widow in her mansion where she dresses up even though she won't see anyone. She leaves her house once a day and that's Annie's chance. Unfortunately when Annie gets there she meets a big gun instead of Lena. Fortunately Annie makes her hasty getaway and confronts piano man who tells her he met Lena and after all the years of wishing she would have her heart broken and life ruined,etc the passion was still there and they had weird Russian sex. Meanwhile back in America Auggie tells Annie he has something to tell her and she should come home because she's going to be killed by those evil Russians who are just standing around waiting to ca an American. Annie is all 'oh hell no, I'm getting ma revenge". She tracks Lena down in some cabin in the woods or something, where the tea kettle is boiling over the fire because they're actually in Hobbit land or something. (Aside: have you heard that they will be making The Hobbit into 3 parts, why? and also why? Besides money of course.) Anyway, Lena tells Annie to come to the dark side and join her in her double agent ways. Lena is all "there is no right and wrong, black and white, America and Russia, there is only spying." How very post modern of Lena. Even though Lena kindly informs Annie that if she kills her (Lena) there will be hell to pay, Annie shoots her anyway. I love that Annie didn't 'do the right thing' I just hope that in the next season we don't find Lena alive somehow.Well, I must say a hilarious and satisfying  ending to this season, or half season or whatever. I did however notice the lack of 'special shells' this season. Those were so fun to make fun of. 

Covert Affairs-Episodes 7,8 and 9

Wow, Covert Affairs fully brought out all of the stops for these three Episodes.


Annie goes to Cuba with Simon where they drink mojitos, dance salsa and do other Latin American activities. Unfortunately she needed a fake passport, for some reason, which Lena helpfully provided from some less than upstanding citizen. Simon gets called away on 'business' which is to look at some device that could take out American satellite signals or something sinister like that, conveniently located in the middle of nowhere. He is with his business partner, a very angry Cuban hit-man. Annie, dressed in suitable camouflage ( a bright red skirt and high heels) attempts to follow them but makes a huge ruckus trying to conceal herself in the woods.Ah Annie and her ridiculous spy skills! Later while doing the salsa dancing, Simon's partner threatens Annie and Annie and Simon decide they must take the next flight Simon's private plane out of there, first thing in the morning. Unfortunately, the next morning Annie discovers that the two have other plans for her. Feeling fairly certain that she is about to be 'killed' (since we know she actually won't be killed. Auggie could never pull off her ridiculous outfits being the lead on this show) they head out for some "tourism" to a local factory. Simon tells Annie he wants to show her the storage closet. Ha! For a moment things look grim for Annie but then Simon to the rescue! Simon kills his partner and Annie and Simon take off into the sunset. From this we learn that Simon is totally in love with Annie, just as Lena requested!

Meanwhile in the Auggie subplot, Auggie gets removed from the Jai case for being a hot mess but since this is a parallel universe where anyone can do whatever they want at the CIA, he continues investigating and finds out the location of Jai's safe house.

In the sub-sublot Arthur is up for a position that he's always wanted. Being a dutiful wife, Joan has some influential people over for dinner where Arthur promptly insults them and smashes some plates. Sigh. The men on this show love smashing things even more than I do.

Auggie takes Annie to Jai's safe house where they discover pictures of Simon. They decide that Simon must be tracked down which is when Annie breaks the news that she and Simon are lovers to Auggie and Arthur.  Annie schedules a meet with Simon but soon they are chased down by armed bad guys. They make their hasty getaway into some nearby trees, Annie takes off her microphone and they confess their undying love for each other. Annie asks Simon to come work for the CIA, but Simon just loves his spy life too much! They part ways assuming it will be forever (hahah, who actually thought that?). Later Annie returns to her home where she meets Simon and they decide to run away together when who should show up but Lena. I knew Lena was a bad guy, I mean, it was fairly obvious, no one with the name Lena was a good guy ever, but still. Lena shoots both of them, then puts the gun in Simon's hand. I'm going to sincerely say that Covert Affairs got it quite right with this scene, the music, Lena walking in with the gun. Sure, it was cheesy but it was well done.

The next Episode opens with a cake/cookie delivery man bringing a cake to Annie (aww, I love how Annie's entire relationship with her sister centers around food!). The cake delivery man sees the two bodies and calls the police. Next thing you know we are inside Annie's mind as she gets rushed to the hospital. Argh, one of my biggest pet peeves is the weird blue dream state that nearly dead characters find themselves in on TV all the time. I don't know why, it's a common enough trope but it still annoys me. Anyway, in this dream state Annie says goodbye to Simon(who we learn in the real world is dead) and begins to figure out what is going on, of course she discovers Lena is the villain and, in a kind of a cute scene,  we see the credit sequence where she is dancing, and she makes out with Auggie. Aww, I know these two are supposed to be in love but I just don't feel it. The seem like bros to me. Anyway, I just have to admire Christopher Gorham's performance here. He really gives it his all. I want to  giggle whenever I see him. But, I digress.  Back in the real world, Lena has compiled evidence to frame Annie for her (Lena's) criminal activities. Joan and Arthur are all "yeah, I totally believe this. Even though Annie is actually the worst spy ever she could totally have pulled this off". Auggie however does his own investigating with the aid of an over-achieving nurse (seriously, aren't they supposed to have some discretion? Anyway.) Joan thinks Auggie is cray-cray but eventually decides to give him access to her files which are above his clearance anyway. Joan and Annie obviously went to  the same school of stealthiness because they are both horrible at it.  Auggie tracks down the man who forged Annie's passport and goes to his house, where he finds his dead body and smells...lavender. Hahaha. I don't know why I find this so amusing. I love that Lena was all "gotta go kill somebody, better not forget my perfume".  Next thing you know Auggie is sitting in the hospital when Lena brings him some coffee and he catches that familiar whiff of lavender. Run, Lena, you in danger! Fortunately Lena is so cocky she totally goes into Annie's room and tries to finish the job by suffocating her, but is caught by, well, everyone. Auggie confesses his feelings for Annie, fire alarms are pulled,  soft pseudo indie music is played! This show is the cheese, but it does the cheese well.

Covert Affairs-Season 3 Episode 6

Previously on Covert Affairs: Stuff happened that wasn't really relevant to this episode at all.

And Now: Annie does whatever the heck she wants, Auggie patronizes people.
I have to confess that this episode really bothered me,  for a lot of reasons. As my readers know I am a fan of Breaking Bad, a show so full of metaphors it would fill any English teacher with glee. Covert Affairs isn't a particularly deep show so maybe it's wrong to take it in this context, nonetheless,  in this episode I felt Annie's character was a pretty good metaphor for America. Now that Annie's back in the DPD, we all get to be privy, once again, to Joan's exposition. In this case, she informs us that the Prime Minister of Yemen has had a heart attack and is being flown to the Mayo Clinic for surgery, but he will only be in America for three hours. Basically there was absolutely no reason for her to give this bit of information except for Annie to say "I have an idea, we could turn his head honcho and get him to work for us! I read the papers he wrote in University and he would be great for us! Also, yay for oil" I find it hard to believe that Annie is sitting around reading College papers by random people, but, that's Annie for us, she's a go-getter. Joan tells her they will be doing no such thing, but eventually caves, giving Annie her blessing and a G-rated warning. The rest of the episode follows Annie as she tries to turn this Yemeni official to work for the CIA. Even though she is repeatedly told to stand down, she continues her brazen attempt at getting him to work for the good of the world, or as she should be saying "you will be working or the good of America, while we do nothing to help you".  Now, to be clear, I am not saying that this is America's policy towards everything, although certainly many people feel that way, nor that all American's have this attitude but some of them do. The problem is that, those some shouldn't be heroes, even if it's only on television.  Annie spends the whole episode being obnoxious, arrogant and manipulative and I don't think that's a character, at least on a show like this, that should be a protagonist. I have said it before and I will say it again, television and entertainment represent and enforce cultural beliefs and ideals.  The idea of America as the moral compass of the world is one found in a lot of TV shows and one which needs to be put aside. My other pet peeve was the, excuse my language, lazy-ass writing. I mean, the way Joan brought up the topic seemed so unnatural and Annie's impassioned speech about how she has so much in common with the man she needs to get to work for her came out of nowhere and seemed completely forced. The whole episode seemed like everyone was on vacation and they slapped this together the day before everyone jetted off to Hawaii. In conclusion, I love this show because it's cheesy, Auggie, the blind CIA Agent, is ridiculous, the credits are ridiculous, Annie wears lots of clothes that are cute but I am sure no governmental official actually owns. I don't love this show for being thought provoking and I certainly don't love the patriotism and generally "yay for America!" attitude. Also, this episode didn't have a sidecar. Every episode should have one now that I know that the studio owns one!

Covert Affairs-Season 3, Episode 4

Previously on Covert Affairs: Auggie gets engaged, kidnapped and rescued. Parker wants to know who she's marrying. Guest appearance from Agent Rossabi (not Wasabi) of the FBI.

And now: Annie gets dumped by Lena. Auggie gets dumped by Parker. Covert Affairs continues it's love affair with musical montages!

Holy crap, I loved this episode so much. It had so many hilarious moments, I don't even know where to start! If you remember from last week, Annie goes to Paris to meet Simon and they do all sorts of fun things, running up things, drinking beer, having the sex. Meanwhile, a hipster cat burglar is breaking into...something, somewhere. We soon learn from Lena that  it was technology that this moustached cat burglar was after, technology so valuable that ALL of the agencies with their various acronyms are after said burglar. Guess who also recently got in touch with the burglar. That's right, it was Simon. Annie has an idea to call Agent Rossabi (I get hungry for Sushi every time I write his name), Lena is all "no way" but Annie does it anyway. Agent Rossabi is not, shall we say, forthcoming, in fact he is still annoyed at Annie since she accidentally got some people blown up last season. Well, fair enough, that would make me mad too!

Since her sister is moving, Annie is trying (operative word being, 'trying') to spend time lots of time with her, eating pizza and ice cream since that is basically all they ever do. Unfortunately they are interrupted when Annie gets a phone call from Simon, he's in Washington and he's going to the Smithsonian to see her. Since I totally forgot about the Smithsonian story line I was pretty happy they brought it back.She rushes over there to see him when he is like "oh I thought I could stay at your place".  Geez,a bit forward, no? Fortunately the CIA has a special division for setting up apartments just for cases like this so, off they go to Annie's 'apartment' for a romantic rendezvous. Side note: if Simon isn't onto Annie yet, he should be, because girlfriend is not subtle. She totally starts raiding his laptop and blackberry (!) while he is right in the other room. Meanwhile Parker tells Auggie she can't marry him because they don't really know each other. Even though I don't like her character at all,  this plot line kind of annoyed me. I mean, of course it wasn't going to work out because obviously Annie and Auggie have to get together, but still. Auggie copes with this news in a sensible way, ie: throwing stuff and getting drunk. Hey, I'm not judging, I totally do the same thing. Annie learns that  Simon has a super secret meeting and is convinced that it is to have an exchange with the burglar, Mr. Moustache (nb: not his real name) . While Auggie is off getting drunk on 3 beers (Auggie needs to work on his tolerance if he's drunk after 3 beers, but anyway) Annie is waiting for the exchange to happen, obviously, in a park. Sure enough, two men exchange briefcases and all the letter agencies are there to take them down.Cue a high speed pursuit with Annie tackling the burglar, only to find out from an angry Agent Rossabi that the briefcase was empty. Meanwhile, in a more sensible location for such an exchange Simon, is in fact, making a briefcase exchange. 

Time to check in with Auggie who is now totally obliterated, fortunately there are some shot glasses on the table so my faith in him is restored. Suddenly a pretty girl approaches him, followed by her belligerent boyfriend who tells Auggie to "pay better attention". Auggie goes all military on this guys ass and tells him to "stand down". but belligerent boyfriend is belligerent so there are fisticuffs! Next thing you know Auggie is hauled off by policemen.  Things aren't going much better for Annie who gets back to the office to ask Lena what to do next but Lena is all "go back to Joan". Ouch! I definitely thought Lena was going to last more than 4 episodes, then again, maybe she will be back as the villain I suspect her to be? Annie says goodbye to her sister and they eat ice cream because, well,  that's all they do together on this show.Then she drives off with Simon who confesses to really liking her. Despite the lack of a sidecar this episode still had so many hilarious moments! Drunk Auggie! Cat burglar! Annie texting with her cellphone behind her back and an iPhone no less! There must be a course on that at the farm!

Covert Affairs-Season 3,Episode 3

Previously on Covert Affairs: Jane and Lena hate each other! Auggie is going to propose to his girlfriend, Annie has sex with Simon.

And Now:
Annie is in her tub enjoying some alone time (OOER) and thinking of all the sex she had with Simon, her sister (Anne Dudek-love her! but she must be tired of all the a-women-scorned plotlines she gets) is planning her divorce from her cheating husband, Auggie enjoys some not-alone time in the Red Sea with Parker. I don't know how sold I am on Parker's character, she's cute and she's cool I guess, since she went off to the far off lands but still. I digress, Auggie, Annie and some friends ( a couple) are drinking margaritas ,getting engaged (Annie and Auggie), frolicking in the sea and cruising around in a posh boat when disaster strikes.The girl they are with has hit her head and needs to be rushed to the hospital. At this point I definitely thought of this scene from Breaking Bad and started laughing hysterically.

Anyway, her boyfriend, who I guess doesn't know much about the far off lands calls in a distress call...which is intercepted by pirates! In fairness to the pirates they were definitely very nice, TV-viewer friendly pirates. I mean, no swearing, no shooting, no one got smacked, that's why I love this show. They confiscate everyone's belongings and rough them up a (very little) bit. They release the girl that is injured and...an American shows up. An American pirate. She is kind of a bitch, if I do say so myself. Lena, Joan and Annie  are at home negotiating for the safe return of their compatriots. Lena and Joan go head to head, seriously in the next episode they are going to be pulling each others hair or something. I have to say, I am not a fan of plots like this. There is no reason two women can't work together in harmony and in a professional manner.  Plus both these characters are a bit insufferable, right? Lena wants to beat everyone over the head with her "I'm-so-different" attitude and Joan spent most of the last two seasons preaching about fidelity and trust when she was the one who slept with a married man. I don't know, honestly, this episode is a bit hard to recap. Auggie, Parker and that other guy are held hostage. Parker is confused about how Auggie, some random blind guy knows so much about everything until he confesses that he is a CIA agent and she goes to sulk in the corner. Dude, if I was kidnapped by pirates and my fiance told me he was a CIA agent I would be overjoyed. Plus, I mean, supposedly they've been dating for 4 months, she can't expect to know everything about him. After sulking a bit she puts on her big girl panties and they all plan an escape and get airlifted from a near by building. So far, this has been my least favourite episode. I love Auggie but whenever he gets his own episode it is usually a feast for the eyes (remember that one about his hardships running barebacked through the Middle East?) but a bit weak on plot.
Other things that happened in this episode: Annie's sister and brother-in-law decide to make it work instead of getting a divorce. Snore! Simon calls Annie for a romantic rendez vous in Paris and Joan stomps off in a huff. WHY ARE ALL THE WOMEN ON THIS SHOW ACTING LIKE TEENAGERS?

Covert Affairs-Season 3, Episode 2

Previously on Covert Affairs: Annie is reassigned to have more sex with foreigners. Auggie is reassigned to look through Evil Jai's mountains of encrypted files. Yay for feminism.

And Now:
High speed chase through the airport! Airport chase is a spy show staple so of course it's the opening scene! Meanwhile in the States, Evil Jai gets a star for his service to his country, blah blah blah. Do corrupt agents still get a star? I mean, that must have been a pain in the arse during the Cold War.  Annie approaches "Lena" with the info she got off of Russian Baddies iPad but says she thinks it might not be of good quality. She totally thinks she just got his porn collection or something but Lena is sure that it is useful since Annie is such a good agent. Ah yes, Annie's agent skills are about as good as Emma's Sheriff skills on Once Upon  Time. We quickly learn that the high speed chase we saw earlier was some Spanish officials chasing a Canadian couple through the airport. Hahaha! I love it. Even Canadians are bad guys on this show. I'm sure this couple did something really bad like overstay their VISA. As it turns out the are fronting for that other evil Communist country, China and they are in Spain to do pick  up a computer virus. I appreciate this show's dedication to showing us exotic and exciting destinations but is Spain really the place to go for a computer virus? I mean, with all due respect to this country, they aren't known for their technology, unless you count their liberal laws vis a vis illegal downloading. Anyway, Joan and Lena get into a bitch fight over Annie. Lena scores one point by saying that 'Annie picked up some bad habits along the way' but Joan wins and gets to send Annie and Auggie to Barcelona. Despite the fact that her wardrobe is more unrealistic than Auggie referring to Annie's Louboutins as "kitten heels" (Shoutout to the pilot!), I am on team Joan. Lena is clearly the bad guy here which is a shame since she gets all the feminist rhetoric. After arguing about who gets what seat Annie and Auggie are off...pretending to be a married couple on a honeymoon. I have to say, I always love the 'spies pretending to be married' theme. Remember when X-files did it? Hilarious. Anyway, There they are having coffee and whining about "Spanish time". Ha. Eventually they have their meet and get the 'package' but not before chatting about whether it's a good idea. Um, I know the tax payers are footing the ill for your flight and all but maybe you could have discussed that BEFORE leaving the country. They go back to their hotel or safe house or whatever and Annie starts cracking jokes about their happy married life. Auggie doesn't hear a thing, though, because he has his headphones on. When he finally takes them off it's to tell Annie that he is planning to propose to his girlfriend of FOUR MONTHS. WTF Auggie, WTF? Annie says, more or less, the same thing but they both agree that life is short and reminisce about their frenemy Jai was blown up. Cue a phone call from Joan saying it's not safe. Fisticuffs in the elevator! High speed chase on the fire escape! Someone makes off with the 'package'! And the most unrealistic point-Auggie and Annie speak Catalan! They are supposed to be tourists, pretty sure the spy passed by them and heard them talking and was like "Catalan speaking tourists?! These are the guys!"

Back stateside, Arthur goes to visit Jai's pa in jail and pump him for information. Lena wants Annie to go to Munich and seduce her Russian bad guy some more and Auggie has a midlife crisis. Poor Auggie, every episode he has some kind of crisis. Auggie suddenly decides that he knows how to find Red Rover the creator of the virus, (not before a spontaneous trip to Parc Guell) but given that we have no information this seems unlikely. After Annie and Auggie settle their marital discord they head back to the restaurant and start stalking their waitress but she threatens them with a taser. Annie one ups her with a gun, though! After they enter her apartment/computer-virus-creating den they are all "oh hi, Red Rover, isn't it a coincidence that we found you just like that!" It sure is. Auggie has a cunning plan to turn her to work for them. Pilar (Red Rover) has a cunning plan to test Auggie's blindness-she waves her tatas in his face, but nope, he's blind. Auggie gives a really halfhearted speech about doing good, not evil, but Pilar isn't having any of it! Annie decides to take a new approach and offers Pilar more money. Pilar is all "ostia! let's go!" Unfortunately some goons are lurking outside so they go out the fire escape (I presume) again! After momentarily losing Pilar she reappears in what is, hands down,  the best scene in this episode-ON A MOTORCYCLE WITH A SIDECAR. Of course Auggie goes in the sidecar, and of course I was hysterically laughing at this point. Well, we know how this ends. Pilar goes back to the States to work with Joan and Auggie tells Annie he's off to Africa to propose to his girlfriend. Annie is depressed, momentarily, and then heads off to Munich (looking fantastic, I might say!) to seduce her lover/potential spy-man of the Russian persuasion. The biggest shock in this episode was the lack of Florence and the Machine. Nonetheless, I love this show. Please don't change, Covert Affairs!

Covert Affairs- Season 3 Episode 1

That's right friends, Covert Affairs is back which means we have another season of angsty ''looks" between Auggie and Annie (while Florence and The Machine belts out a tune) and super patriotic dialogue to look forward to. When we left season 2, evil Jai was evil and Annie had realised her love for Auggie just as he was about to fly out to see his girlfriend in a distant land. Season 3 begins with a bang (spoiler alert!) Annie rolls into work with some 4th of July cupcakes (made by her sister) only to be greeted by some trite "go-America" dialogue from Auggie. I so wish I worked for the CIA so I could laugh hysterically at how inaccurate (I hope) this show is! Anyway, she's barely finished distributing her baked goods when she gets a mysterious note to go meet someone in a diner. Who should she find there but Evil Jai who conspiratorially tells her that the CIA is not to be trusted or something. Does anyone else find it a bit hilarious that Jai, basically the only not white person on this show (and he has an English accent to boot) is the character that went from possible love interest and all around good guy to EVIL VILLAIN/MENTAL BREAKDOWN  so quickly? Well don't think about it too much because he promptly gets blown up! Annie is totally traumatized by this turn of events and so is the entire office. It's a somber day at the CIA when Auggie gets 'promoted' to look into Evil Jai's affairs and Annie gets hauled off for a polygraph test. The boss men totally think she bombed Jai but are sooo convinced of her innocence when she storms off, cussing like a sailor (not really, she said 'shit') ...straight into the arms of her new boss. I am pretty sure new boss is a villain because a.) her name is Lena which is pretty much the name given to all female villains in these kind of shows and b.) she was totally a bad guy on a different show (which?) and c.) she gives Annie some female empowerment speech and tells her to report to her super weird new office! When Annie arrives, Lena is all "oh we do things differently here". No duh, her office totally looks like Stargate Command! They quickly get to discussing some Russian who's up to no good. My favourite part of this scene was that even the characters are like "the Cold War is over, y'all!" In any case, we know what the arrival of a Russian means, Annie is headed overseas armed only with her high heels and ability to speak virtually any language.  Once she arrives in Morocco she quickly disconnects the brake lights on her rental car to "accidentally" have the Russian baddie crash into her. After playing the enraged American they go for coffee! Annie is like "we should go to this secret valley where you are doing something corrupt and surely aren't going to kidnap me". Russian Baddie is like "great idea!" Annie rings up her boss to get some info but new boss is all "I'm not a tight ass like Joan, why don't you go drink some vodka or whatever they do in Morocco". In the worlds most boring subplot, Joan and Arthur have some little spat or something. Also, Auggie is totally pissed at having to take over Evil Jai's office especially when he finds out Jai was doing everything super secretly! Of course he was! That's what you get for being a super patriot, Auggie! Even so, we all know that any one of us would totally hit that amiright?

RIP Evil Jai

Back in Morocco Annie goes to a market where she gets some device which will scan Russian bad guy's computer. The prop definitely looks like an early 90's cell phone and, frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if it was one. Since Covert Affairs wishes to leave no cliché unexplored, Annie is chased through the market by the German tourists she saw earlier. When she escapes she promptly calls her boss and reports everything just as....Russian bad guy ( I can't even remember his name now) shows up and they head off. To my surprise he doesn't kidnap her he just takes her to a secret oasis which he says he owns. My favourite part of THIS scene was Annie wearing high heels to go to a valley in the desert! They were wedges, but still! Unfortunately the romantic picnic is interrupted by a giant cliché sandstorm. They are making their hasty getaway when the car breaks down. Fortunately Annie quickly repairs it, just in time for some sexy sand removal and making out. Russian baddie takes Annie to his posh apartment and goes to take a shower while Annie scans his computer, through the locked door of the safe. I sincerely hope that the CIA actually has such technology 'cause that would be awesome. She also discovers the passports of the  German tourists who we soon learn are deceased, with no clue to who might have killed them. Annie doesn't find out though because she is busy showering with the hunky bad guy. Girlfriend does have her priorities sorted! Auggie also hears this news and tells his new employees to get on that. Conveniently one of his men appears to tell him that they have found some files with a weird cipher and a strange symbol on the box....the same symbol Annie's new love interest/bad guy has tattooed on his shoulder. Ooh. I love this show, and despite the excess of cheese in this episode I am totally hooked to see what kind of shoes Annie will wear next how this plot unfolds and what Evil Jai was into.

Friday Fall TV Recap

Friday, 28 October 2011


It's that time again, time for new TV shows and, maybe it is just me but does it seem like there are inordinate amount of new shows this fall? Anyway, I've been watching pilots, (it feels like a million!) and catching up on old favourites, so in lieu of a film review, I bring you a fall TV Recap.

Community is back for a third season and as hilarious as ever. So far Community has taken on sci-fi/alternate universes/the UN/film noir and Glee. It has also informed us that Cougar Town has been moved to mid-season (I'm so depressed, I love Cougar Town). The Big Bang Theory is back and although I still watch this, I have to say, this show loves stomping over old ground and sticks to cliches like I stick to my Junior Mints. Covert Affairs starts again in November and, I mainly watch this show to laugh at it and admire the clothing choices, nonetheless, I can't wait.

Hart of Dixie-This show is so cheesy it makes cheese look, er, uncheesy. Okay, I got a bit lost there but anyway, this show is about a doctor (Rachel Bilson) who is forced to relocate to a small town stuck in a time warp. They are not really stuck in a time warp, but, er, are small towns in the States really like this? Someone please notify me if this is factual. Basically, I'm not sure I am going to keep watching this. One, I have no time and two, I hate the premise that ALL PEOPLE MUST LOVE SMALL TOWNS OR ELSE YOU ARE A SELF RIGHTEOUS AND A POMPOUS ARSE AND NOT A REAL AMERICAN. I am not a real American, being Canadian and all but you get my drift. I live in a small town and I do not like it. Some people are just city people. Ok, rant over. 

Pan Am-There are so many things about this show I love! 60's Costumes? Check. Cold war? Check. Christina Ricci? Check. Airplanes/Airports/International Travel? Check. There is no doubt that this show is filling the void left by Mad Men and/or following in it's footsteps, however, I have to say, although it is a more light hearted version I am impressed both visually and by the writing. A few episodes in and the characters are well crafted, well dressed and I am compulsively downloading the next episode. Also, someone told me I do my make-up like the French girl. Yes! I am tres chic!

Prime Suspect-Part of me feels like, yes, I love Maria Bello and Aidan Quinn and I have the hugest crush ever on Kirk Acevedo. I mean, come on, look at these two.

But another part of me is like, UGH, not another cop show. There are so many already and how many variations of rape/stabnation/gang killings are there? But, as I am a proponent of judging shows/movies/etc. based on the genre in which they belong, Prime Suspect, is a good cop show, so far. Maria Bello kicks arse on so many levels. However, he struggles to fit in with her unsupportive coworkers could get stagnant and heavy handed if not carefully managed by the writers/directors.

Once Upon A Time-This show's publicity team must be the hardest working TV publicity team EVER, this show is so hyped it's no wonder the pilot was a bit of a let down. Ok, I am fully going to keep watching because pilot's are not usually the best, especially on a show like this. Once Upon A Time is brought to us by LOST writers so I am hoping for a cracked out show which will go on for years and eventually offer up a half-arsed and semi-religious explanation for all this. However, the gist is that all the characters in a small town called "Storybrooke" or something to that effect, are part of a fairy-tale only they don't notice it because they have been put under the spell of an evil witch and her smoke monster blue and green smoke cloud. I'm not really sure if the point is that they come from some other timeline/dimension, or the fairy tale was supposed to have happened hundreds of years ago in which case-do these people just keep living the same lives over and over again and not notice that they have iPhones now? They can only become unstuck from time when the daughter (Jennifer Morrison) of Snow White (Ginnifer Goodwin) is brought back to town and the final smackdown  war can begin. When she arrives the clock is at 8.15 (LOST shout out) but then it moves when she decides to say. So...has it been 8.15 for an indefinite amount of time? And does no one notice this? These are just some of the questions/plot holes left by the Once Upon A Time pilot, but I kind of feel like saying-what part of LOST writers didn't we understand?

Pictures from: Here, Here Here, Here Here and Here