Chapters 55-72
Yaaay, we have finally reached the last section of this tripe. Joley continues his barrage of creepy incestuousness love for his sister, whining
"I have believed in Jane for so long, and I have loved her so. I could never find anyone that measured up to her, which is why I've kept from marrying. What is the point of love unless I can have the ideal? " Sam and Jane fall more in love, Jane is totally useless at everything and Sam is a huge douche so I guess these two belong together. According to this book most people don't find their soul mate, jeez, patronizing much? When they kiss Jane tastes of sassafras and cinnamon because, you know, of course she does. Oliver saves the whale and Jane and Sam have sex. Snore. It is the best sex ever, they didn't know it could be like this, blah blah blah, cliché, cliché, cliché. Let us reiterate that Jane is very sad and pathetic and has had a horrible life and that's why she needs a man to save her. That man is supposedly Sam but she can't have him because she is married to Oliver, but luckily she has a consolation prize in the form of her daughter. How do I put this delicately-what the fuck? Who are these people? Hadley and Rebecca fall in love, Rebecca catches her mom cheating on her dad and gets angry. Derr. Since Jane is as two faced and hypocritical as ever she makes Sam send Hadley away so that he won't sex up her daughter. Sam agrees for some inexplicable reason, okay, not that inexplicable since he wants to keep boinking Jane. He suggests they run away together and have loads of babies but at that inconvenient moment Oliver comes on the news declaring his love for
whales Jane. Oh no, what will she decide? Just kidding, we all know she is going to completely choose the most insufferable and self righteous choice because that is what this book is about! Joley confronts Jane but for some reason wants her to go back to Oliver because...I don't know. He is in love with his sister and wants her for himself but wants her to make the right choice? Or something? I don't know. Oliver uses some hotline to find Jane and Rebecca but when he arrives he finds Jane and Sam sleeping together. He is, understandably, mad and he and Sam get into fisticuffs but they are interrupted by the realization that Rebecca is missing. They know where she is gone though, but for plot points it has to be Oliver and Sam who go and find her. After some shenanigans they find her and Hadley, having had the sex, on top of some cliff thing. After some argument Hadley tells Rebecca she has to go with her real dad and her new dad (just kidding) but they fight a bit and he (Hadley) falls to his death from a cliff. Rebecca lets out an animal-like howl and starts trying to rip her heart out by clawing at her chest.She is taken to the hospital where everyone gathers around and nurses her back to health. After she is better, the happy family that is Oliver, Rebecca and Jane head home. At this point, since the end is nearing, everyone has their epiphanies. Joley tells Jane she is his and everyone else's anchor. Jane goes back to Oliver and decides to give it a go, she won't be able to forget Sam but then apparently she never forgot Oliver either, although it really seemed like she did. Oliver wants to make things right although it doesn't really seem like he does either. In short, they all don't really live happily ever after. Basically, I normally like unhappy endings but this just seemed so contrived to me. They are all unhappy because of their own poor choices, although, aren't we all really?
Fin
Next Fromage:
Beautiful Darkness by Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl
No comments:
Post a Comment