Once Upon a Time-Episode 21 Recap

Previously on Once Upon a Time: Everyone is extremely over the top! August is Pinocchio and Snow White and Prince Charming are insufferable as usual!

And now:

Proving she is as useless at being a villain as usual, Regina is having a nightmare about being ganged up on by the angry villagers who threaten her. Emma grabs a metaphorical rotten apple while Regina claims she just wanted to win. Pathetic! Regina should have called her evil dream henchmen down on this group of arseholes. Meanwhile, Emma does what she does best and kidnaps Henry and tries to leave. Henry has other ideas though and begs Emma to stay there and save everyone. Back in fairy tale land that irritating bit of semi handsomeness, Prince Charming is about to be beheaded by the King Widimore. Honestly, Alan Dale is just phoning in his lines at this point. Unfortunately, instead of being beheaded, Prince Charming only gets a bucket of water on his head. Boo. Regina saunters up to say that she has another plan...to use Prince Charming to destroy Snow White which can only mean one thing: more hours of intolerable Snow White/Prince Charming dialogue. Back in Storybrooke Regina's tree is dying so she goes to consult that expert gardener, Mr. Gold.  Mr. Gold is all "whatever, bitch" but Regina tells him that this means the curse is weakening and she needs to get rid of Emma. Only problem is, Mr. Gold put a pesky clause in their about the curse breaking if Emma died. Regina suggests he undo this clause but Mr. Gold says "no can do". He wants the curse to break-- but why? He coldly tells Regina that she doesn't have anything he wants (ouch) and that when the curse breaks her worst nightmares will come true.

When Emma crawls back home into Mary Margaret's, albeit beautiful, house, Mary Margaret starts reaming her out with her Oprah style psychology. A bit rich coming from this sanctimonious home wrecker but whatever. Mary Margaret says they are family and Emma is reverting and so on. Her piece de resistance is that now Emma has to take care of Henry. Great speech, Mary Margaret, great speech.

Back in fairytale land, and it pains me to write this, they are launching an attack on the King's castle and they need some 'air support'. I assume this means the boob Blue fairy and her henchmen, and I was not wrong.Snow White and her team of  dwarfs and other wronged peoples of Fairy Tale land overcome the King's forces with ease and just as they are about to lose...boob  Fairy attack! This ranks pretty high on my what-the-crap-ometer. Snow White is questioned about why the Queen hates her so much and smugly replies that she has destroyed the queen's happiness and now she wants revenge. I'm kind of on the Queen's side now.

In Storybrooke, Regina calls on the Mad Hatter, who looks like he should be fronting for a early 00's indie band. He says he can't use his magic but she tells him that she has a way. Mad Hatter agrees but on one condition, he wants a new life for him and his daughter. Meanwhile, Henry goes to talk to August. August gives us yet another speech about how Emma doesn't believe because she doesn't want to. Then he tells Henry he's out  of Operation Cobra because he's turning back into wood. Is it just me or is August giving up way to easily? Me thinks there is someone else here who just doesn't want to believe.

In fairy tale land the siege of the King's castle continues. Snow White thinks she has found Prince Charming but it is just a hologram. Mwahahahha. Evil laughter from Regina who says they have to meet face to face...in the place where it all began. Snow White agrees and Red Riding Hood delivers the most idiotic line of the episode-"I don't trust that woman". You don't say. Meanwhile, Regina uses her last bit of magic (a glowy crystal image of her one true love) to get Emo McGee the Mad Hatter's Hat to work. There's not enough magic to go to the other side but she can get something and Regina knows exactly what she wants-the poison apple. Her alter ego, the evil Queen, takes Snow White to the grave of her long deceased farm hand. She tells Snow that her mother ripped her lovers heart out-and it's all because of SNOW WHITE. Snow White counters with the fact that the Queen killed her dad and calls for a truce, but the Queen's not having it. She gives Snow the apple which won't kill her but keep her in a trance of her own memories forever, but she has to eat it willingly or Prince Charming will die. Of course Snow eats it. And collapses. Her friends show up and hold a meeting about whether she's dead or not. My favourite part is when Red Riding Hood holds up her sword to Snow's nose to see if she's breathing. Red is a solid bad ass.

Back in Storybrook a similar truce is being called.  Regina and Emma agree that it's best if Emma leaves but still has visitation rights and all that. Regina, having cleverly baked the toxic apple into a pie (I won't lie, that pie looks great!) gives Emma a piece before saying 'hasta la vista'. Emma says goodbye to Henry, telling him  that it's best and blah, blah, blah. Henry spots the pie and tells her she can't eat it. Of course Emma doesn't believe him because that's what she does. To prove his point Henry (who is still my favourite character on this show) takes a bite and then...collapses! A solid ending, if I do say so myself. However, I think I have to agree with the writers at EW when they say that Revenge is taking LOST's place and not any of the sci-fi and fantasy shows, like Once Upon a Time, that have tried too.